From the Mind of Dunuelos: Plot Bunnies
by dunuelos
Summary: Random Bunnies. If anyone finds a bunny they like, feel free to take it home. See first chapter for disclaimer. Rating is for occasional language.
1. Disclaimer and Intro

This is for Plot Bunnies. A few will be tragic, some will be funny, some will be thought-provoking: All will be my own (even if inspired by other fanfic authors).

Wherever applicable, I will list the stories and authors that inspired me.

Some will be cliché – and I will be very open about it when I am quite certain it is cliché.

There will be some bashing, I am certain. The most-oft-bashed will be Dumbledore because Canon Dumbledore deserves it the most.

I hereby give the disclaimer that I own nothing of Harry Potter nor any other recognized Copywritten works mentioned or Trademarks mentioned. It's under Fair Use.


	2. Forced Bonding? Nuh-Uh!

Cliché Bunny 1: Harry is forced to bond to an adult to save his life and magic – or to satisfy Dumbledore's need for control. Dumbledore picks Severus Snape as the best choice. (Bashing only Dumbledore, Snape, Scrimgeour, and Umbridge. No Weasley bashing in this one.)

* * *

Albus Dumbledore looked out toward the Great Hall at Hogwarts.

The entire Order of the Phoenix, save two, and several students who knew Harry Potter were in attendance. There were also Wizengamot witnesses and reporters. He had carefully laid the compulsion charms on the benches so that no interference could take place.

Next to him stood Severus Snape. Severus had taken a small of convincing but had eventually agreed to the plan. Albus knew it was an imposition but his argument that Harry Potter needed to be controlled for the Greater Good had swayed him.

Actually, if Albus Dumbledore had been able to read the master occlumens' mind, he would have seen the truth: Severus Snape was perfectly willing to do anything to torment the spawn of Potter. He loathed the teenager and only his Oath to Dumbledore had prevented him taking revenge.

Albus believed the swill he had spewed about protecting Lily's child. He didn't love Lily – he had wanted to control Lily. He was obsessed. Her happiness had no bearing on his decisions – just his own happiness.

So, to him, this was a chance to demonstrate final triumph. Severus Snape knew what almost no magical person knew but almost any muggle trained in Psychology could have explained: Rape was not about sex: It was about control.

Rufus Scrimgeour was present to perform the bonding. He had been told the prophecy by Dumbledore. He had no concern whatsoever for Potter as a person; his only concern was for his position and destroying anything which stood in the way of his maintaining that position.

Dolores Umbridge also stood as witness. The forced bonding was, in her mind, apt revenge for what she had suffered. It would also put the half-blood in his place.

Suddenly, the doors opened and Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks entered, followed by Harry Potter.

Albus called out, "Nymphadora, Remus, take a seat please." The two did so (Tonks scowling at the use of her name) and were caught up in the same charm as the rest of the audience.

Albus magically closed the doors and said, "Come forward, Harry."

Seeing the cast of Characters arrayed at the front of the Hall, Harry was very leery of doing that. "Why have I been brought here?"

"The Ministry has ordered that you be placed in a Bond. The Prophecy needs fulfilled and this Bond will help."

Harry had stopped. "How will it help, and with whom and I bonding?"

"It will help stabilize your magic, strengthen it." That it would void the emancipation from Sirius' will was not said. "For the Greater Good, Severus has agreed to be bonded."

Harry snarled. "Why would I bond to Snivellus?" He could not help but use the vile nickname he had seen his father and Sirius use – the situation had ripped his polite façade away. "I am neither gay nor willing to bond to a man who has despised me from the first moment he saw me."

Albus Dumbledore took on a grim demeanour. "You will Bond as ordered by the Ministry. Severus has agreed to put aside his animus, it is incumbent upon you to do the same."

"No!"

"You have no choice!" Dumbledore thundered.

Harry looked around and saw that the audience members never looked at him – so it was likely they were controlled. Before he could formulate a plan based on this, Dumbledore said with a grim smile, "No. They cannot interfere. The order will be carried out. I am in control here and I will to see to it that Voldemort is defeated. It is necessary! Come forward and do as is required!"

Harry snarled. "This is nothing but forced Slavery." He gripped his wand which was in his pocket. Tonks and Remus had tried to take it from him in order to satisfy Dumbledore's orders, but Harry had successfully argued that as a target he needed to be able to protect himself.

As the two had disagreed with the order, it hadn't been hard to convince them.

"You tell me I have to submit for the Greater Good so that Voldemort can be defeated?"

Albus nodded in satisfaction. The boy would submit – he was too invested in seeing the Dark Lord defeated. Albus had seen to that.

"You say I have to Bond to defeat Voldemort? You say it must be Severus Snape, despite our history? Well I say: No! He can have the lot of you!"

Harry quickly pulled his wand from his pocket and pointed it at his head.

The four people on the dais all moved to protest but it was too late.

Harry called out the hated spell, "Avada Kedavra!"

In truth, Harry did not have the sufficient self-hatred for the Killing Curse to be successful in killing himself. But he did have the sufficient hatred in his heart for Voldemort. And as this was the hatred he used, a very strange thing happened.

* * *

Harry opened his eyes and looked up. Not recognizing the ceiling, he sat up and looked around. He looked to be in Kings Cross. He was also naked.

At his desire to no longer be naked, muggle clothes appeared on his body and he took a relieved breath. He looked around and saw an ugly baby crying out in hurt. He felt both sympathy and revulsion. Before he could gather his wits, he heard a voice: "You can't help, Pup."

Harry spun around and saw the three people that he would most wish to see: His parents and his godfather.

"Hello, Pronsglet," his father said. "Fancy seeing you here." James Potter was smirking as only a Marauder could.

Harry jumped up and rushed over. The three spirits before him all embraced him. Many tears were felt, but there was no sorrow.

Finally, Harry took a deep breath and said, "So, I'm dead then. You've come to take me further?"

Lily, who also was crying and smiling, said, "Not quite."

Harry was confused.

Sirius threw his arm over Harry's shoulder and said, "Well, it's like this: The Dark Wanker left a bit of his soul inside of your scar. You didn't hate yourself enough to actually have the spell work on you. Instead – that's what caught the spell."

Harry was both appalled and relieved. "So it's gone now?"

James nodded cheerfully. "And there's more." He pointed out and suddenly Harry saw more crying babies – all that looked very similar to the one he first saw. "That's all the rest of the pieces of his soul that he had bound to different things." Harry saw that there were five babies in total. One looked like a snake. All looked horrid.

Sirius said, "And even more." He motioned behind the group and Harry turned around. He saw a number of people sitting in chairs as though waiting for a train. All were naked and none were responsive. He saw that one of them looked just like … "Voldemort is there!"

Lily said, "Actually, that's all of his marked followers including Severus." The hatred came through as she said the name. "I think I'd like to tell him exactly what I think before the train comes to take them away."

The four walked over and stood in front of Severus Snape. Snape was just as naked, just as ugly, and just as blank as all of the others. Until Lily said, "Severus."

Severus Snape suddenly became aware. He looked at the people standing before him and, suddenly there was a smell that was very distinctive.

All four scrunched their noses. Sirius said, "Well, that was something I prefer I had never witnessed."

James said, "I hope we can get this memory bleached out."

Lily said to Severus, "I thought you were my friend. And then I saw what you did to my son. I saw your heart when you agreed to the goat-fucker's plan. I couldn't help but make my opinion of you known before you get sent of to your deserved reward. I hope you suffer for eternity."

Severus Snape had collected himself and sneered. "At least I saw Potter's spawn destroyed before I died." He smirked. "Revenge was totally worth it."

Sirius and James both laughed, even as Lily sneered at Severus. Harry was wondering if he could torture Snape before he was taken away.

Sirius finally calmed and said, "Sorry to be the bearer of bad news."

James and Lily both smirked at him. Lily said, "No you're not."

Sirius grinned. "She's right. Anyway, our pup's not actually dead – unlike those you see around you. He's going back – even as you're not."

James added, "I hope that provides … comfort." He snickered.

Lily finished it with, "But at least you'll get to see Albus soon. Without your skill in potions, he'll die within a very short time. And Harry will still be alive and free. Enjoy Hell. Goodbye."

Severus Snape suddenly once again became blank. In his mind, however, he was screaming at the top of his lungs – for all the good it would do him which was none.

Sirius led the three Potters away from the platform and toward the door. "Well, pup. You should get back soon. There's a lot of people who are very upset. The shock kind of tore through Albie's compulsion charms and let me tell you, they were not happy with him or the others."

James said, "As soon as you wake up, say as loud as you can: 'Godric's Heir Asks for Sanctuary!'" He smirked again. "That will provide protection. I'm sure the reporters the new Minister brought will be quite interested in what you have to say."

Harry was shocked. "They actually brought witnesses?"

Lily nodded. "Rufus Scrimgeour wanted the Magical world to see how far he would go to defeat Voldemort. The sheep would have just followed."

Sirius said, "Not now though. I emancipated you in my will. Thus Albie trying to control you."

James said, "Yeah. Once you claim sanctuary, say, "I hereby magically accept emancipation, including all titles and duties. So I say, so it shall be!' The trace will be destroyed, you'll be an adult, and the wards will come under your full control. Any chance of you're being magically forced to do anything will be gone."

Lily stopped them. "You've done it, Harry. Riddle is gone. Enjoy your life, give me grandchildren, and don't come back for a few decades."

Harry looked at the three and said, "I'm worried that this is all just in my head."

Sirius grinned. "So what if it's all in your head?"

James said, "Doesn't mean it isn't real."

Lily said, "We love you, Harry." She then grinned and said, "Thank Molly for us."

Confused, Harry was about to ask what she meant but the three disappeared and he suddenly heard a commotion around him. He realized his eyes were closed – and he was being held tightly in someone's embrace.

* * *

His eyes snapped open and he saw that he was indeed being held by Molly Weasley. She was holding his body in one arm even as she held her wand pointed at Albus Dumbledore. He was trying to fight off his own beard as it tried to strangle him.

A number of other people had their wands pointed at Dumbledore, Umbridge, and the man who looked like a Lion.

There was complete shock as everyone heard a voice they didn't expect to ever hear again.

"Godric's Heir asks for Sanctuary!"

Several things happened at once. A visible shield formed around Harry and Molly Weasley, everyone in the room looked over at Harry's body in complete silence, and Molly Weasley screamed in joy.

For about thirty seconds, a vast amount of noise occurred even as Molly Weasley embraced what she considered her seventh son.

When Harry could finally get some air, he shouted out the phrase James had given him.

Dumbledore had finally gotten his beard under control and was about to cast a spell when he felt the wards ripped from his control.

Harry said to the woman holding him, "Let me up, please." Molly numbly did so. "My mother said to say, 'Thank you.' That's directly from Lily Potter to you."

Molly gasped, as did the rest of the Weasleys and his friends who were close enough to hear him.

With a thought, the shield around the two dropped – but Harry himself was surrounded by a nimbus of light. The audience all moved away and gave him clear access to the three remaining idiots.

"Well, Albie, (that's Sirius' name for you, by the way) your idea to control me is pretty much bollixed up." He looked around and saw Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, as well as a few in Wizengamot robes all lying on the floor dead. "Your pet Death Eater as well as his Master and all of the Dark Wanker's minions (another name compliments of Sirius) are gone and the prophecy is fulfilled. All the little bits of soul that Riddle left behind are also gone, including the one from my scar. So there's my part done."

Albus, Rufus, and Dolores were staring at Harry in shock. So was everyone else.

"My mother said that you won't last long because you needed Snivellus' skill to survive." Harry saw the dead hand of the Headmaster and assumed that was what she was talking about. "So, I'd take care of any unfinished business pretty damn quick. As Godric's Heir, I'm closing the castle to you three. I'll explain to the reporters the new Minister so thoughtfully brought exactly what happened here. I'm sure the average witch and wizard of Great Britain will be quite interested."

With a thought, he deposited all three outside of Hogwarts' gates. That each of them was magically bound and without their wands was not Harry's problem. He'd send any belongings to the Ministry – right after he took care of informing his friends and the reporters present exactly what had taken place.

It would take a number of hours for Aurors to locate the three – and to take them into custody.

* * *

Yes. Many clichés. Not very deep or meaningful. But I had fun.

I saw a summary which inspired me:

Annabeth Volturi's _Gryffindor's Slaves_ FF ID 9798300.

I didn't actually read it as I don't like slash. But it brought back another fic to mind:

_How Dumbledore Destroyed the Wizarding World_ by dreamjanus FF ID 6875591.

But I definitely despise the concept of a forced bonding, so I wrote my own and gave it a happy ending (or as much of an ending as possible for just a quick plot bunny).


	3. Not Quite so Self-Sacrificing

These are two plot bunnies which describe a divergence from Canon. Anyone who wants to follow through with them – just let me know what story to read. Quotes from JKR are in bold.

* * *

Bunny 2: Harry reacts quite differently.

**"Harry!" Neville burst Out, the moment he saw the other two. "I was trying to find you to warn you, I heard Malfoy saying he was going to catch you, he said you had a drag -"**

**Harry shook his head violently to shut Neville up, but Professor McGonagall had seen. She looked more likely to breathe fire than Norbert as she towered over the three of them.**

**"I would never have believed it of any of you. Mr. Filch says you were up in the astronomy tower. It's one o'clock in the morning. Explain yourselves."**

**It was the first time Hermione had ever failed to answer a teacher's question. She was staring at her slippers, as still as a statue.**

**"I think I've got a good idea of what's been going on," said Professor McGonagall. "It doesn't take a genius to work it out. You fed Draco Malfoy some cock-and-bull story about a dragon, trying to get him out of bed and into trouble. I've already caught him. I suppose you think it's funny that Longbottom here heard the story and believed it, too?"**

**Harry caught Neville's eye and tried to tell him without words that this wasn't true, because Neville was looking stunned and hurt. Poor, blundering Neville - Harry knew what it must have cost him to try and find them in the dark, to warn them.**

** "I'm disgusted," said Professor McGonagall. "Four students out of bed in one night! I've never heard of such a thing before! You, Miss Granger, I thought you had more sense. As for you, Mr. Potter, …"**

Harry, who normally never wanted to call attention to himself, finally snapped. He could take abuse for himself, but he didn't like to see his friends blamed. To him, it was either Hermione and Neville or Hagrid who was an adult after all. And he would never side with an adult – no matter how friendly – over friends his own age.

"Professor!" Professor McGonagall was shocked that she was interrupted. "I would never think another student getting in trouble or trying to save me was funny. The truth is … we did have a dragon."

Professor McGonagall stared at Harry with some incredulity. "Explain yourself!"

Hermione and Neville were both shocked. Hermione was all set to accept punishment, as was Neville, but neither expected this.

Harry looked at the Deputy Headmistress and said, "It was Hagrid's. He won a dragon's egg at a poker game at some tavern. He hatched it in his hut. It's a Norwegian Ridgeback. Ron, Hermione, and I tried to convince him that it was a bad idea. He wouldn't listen. "Finally, we convinced him that raising a dragon in a wooden house was dangerous. And it already bit Ron's hand, which is why he's in the infirmary. So we contacted Ron's brother, Charlie, and arranged to send it to the Reserve he works at. We were trying to not let Hagrid get in trouble and Draco was trying to get us in trouble. He stole the letter out of my book telling us it was hatching. We had to meet the people who were taking the dragon to the Reserve tonight.

"So, if I'm going to get in trouble for trying to keep Hagrid out of prison, I'd rather get punished for what I actually did instead of something made-up. Since the dragon is gone now, Hagrid can't be caught with it and sent to prison. And I'm a child, so any testimony from me won't be valid without my guardian's permission. And since they absolutely despise magic and me, they won't want anything to do with any magic court."

Professor McGonagall was looking at her student with a number of emotions. She didn't know if she should be angry, horrified, or proud.

Finally she shook her head and said, "You're still out of bounds. You will each lose twenty points and have a detention for being out of bounds past curfew. I will have to talk to the Headmaster about this."

Harry shrugged and let himself be led back, along with the other two, to the Gryffindor common room.

* * *

Plot Bunny 2 ½: Harry agrees with Malfoy? (Instead of protesting when they were caught, it progresses until:

**Your detention will take place at eleven o'clock tonight. Meet Mr. Filch in the entrance hall.**

**Professor McGonagall **

**Harry had forgotten they still had detentions to do in the furor over the points they'd lost. He half expected Hermione to complain that this was a whole night of studying lost, but she didn't say a word. Like Harry, she felt they deserved what they'd got.**

** At eleven o'clock that night, they said good-bye to Ron in the common room and went down to the entrance hall with Neville. Filch was already there - and so was Malfoy. Harry had also forgotten that Malfoy had gotten a detention, too.**

** "Follow me," said Filch, lighting a lamp and leading them outside.**

** I bet you'll think twice about breaking a school rule again, won't you, eh?" he said, leering at them. "Oh yes... hard work and pain are the best teachers if you ask me... It's just a pity they let the old punishments die out... hang you by your wrists from the ceiling for a few days, I've got the chains still in my office, keep 'em well oiled in case they're ever needed... Right, off we go, and don't think of running off, now, it'll be worse for you if you do."**

** They marched off across the dark grounds. Neville kept sniffing. Harry wondered what their punishment was going to be. It must be something really horrible, or Filch wouldn't be sounding so delighted.**

** The moon was bright, but clouds scudding across it kept throwing them into darkness. Ahead, Harry could see the lighted windows of Hagrid's hut. Then they heard a distant shout.**

** "Is that you, Filch? Hurry up, I want ter get started."**

** Harry's heart rose; if they were going to be working with Hagrid it wouldn't be so bad. His relief must have showed in his -face, because Filch said, "I suppose you think you'll be enjoying yourself with that oaf? Well, think again, boy - it's into the forest you're going and I'm much mistaken if you'll all come out in one piece."**

** At this, Neville let out a little moan, and Malfoy stopped dead in his tracks.**

** "The forest?" he repeated, and he didn't sound quite as cool as usual. "We can't go in there at night - there's all sorts of things in there - werewolves, I heard."**

** Neville clutched the sleeve of Harry's robe and made a choking noise.**

** "That's your problem, isn't it?" said Filch, his voice cracking with glee. "Should've thought of them werewolves before you got in trouble, shouldn't you?"**

** Hagrid came striding toward them out of the dark, Fang at his heel. He was carrying his large crossbow, and a quiver of arrows hung over his shoulder.**

** "Abou' time," he said. "I bin waitin' fer half an hour already. All right, Harry, Hermione?"**

** "I shouldn't be too friendly to them, Hagrid," said Filch coldly, they're here to be punished, after all."**

** "That's why yer late, is it?" said Hagrid, frowning at Filch. "Bin lecturin' them, eh? 'Snot your place ter do that. Yeh've done yer bit, I'll take over from here."**

** "I'll be back at dawn," said Filch, "for what's left of them," he added nastily, and he turned and started back toward the castle, his lamp bobbing away in the darkness.**

** Malfoy now turned to Hagrid.**

** "I'm not going in that forest, he said, and Harry was pleased to hear the note of panic in his voice.**

** "Yeh are if yeh want ter stay at Hogwarts," said Hagrid fiercely. "Yeh've done wrong an' now yehve got ter pay fer it."**

** "But this is servant stuff, it's not for students to do. I thought we'd be copying lines or something, if my father knew I was doing this, he'd**

** tell yer that's how it is at Hogwarts," Hagrid growled. "Copyin' lines! What good's that ter anyone? Yeh'll do summat useful or Yeh'll get out. If yeh think yer father'd rather you were expelled, then get back off ter the castle an' pack. Go on"'**

** Malfoy didn't move. He looked at Hagrid furiously, but then dropped his gaze.**

** "Right then," said Hagrid, "now, listen carefully, 'cause it's dangerous what we're gonna do tonight, an' I don' want no one takin' risks. Follow me over here a moment."**

** He led them to the very edge of the forest. Holding his lamp up high, he pointed down a narrow, winding earth track that disappeared into the thick black trees. A light breeze lifted their hair as they looked into the forest.**

** "Look there," said Hagrid, "see that stuff shinin' on the ground? Silvery stuff? That's unicorn blood. There's a unicorn in there bin hurt badly by summat. This is the second time in a week. I found one dead last Wednesday. We're gonna try an' find the poor thing. We might have ter put it out of its misery."**

** "And what if whatever hurt the unicorn finds us first?" said Malfoy, unable to keep the fear out of his voice.**

** "There's nothin' that lives in the forest that'll hurt yeh if yer with me or Fang," said Hagrid. "An' keep ter the path. Right, now, we're gonna split inter two parties an' follow the trail in diff'rent directions. There's blood all over the place, it must've bin staggerin' around since last night at least."**

Before Malfoy could continue with whatever he was about to say, Harry piped up.

"Wait a second! You just said it's dangerous. You said as long as we're with you, we'll be okay. Then you say we're splitting up. Are we being protected or are we being sent into danger?"

Hagrid was both confused – and annoyed. Of all of the people he expected flak from, Harry wasn't on the list. "It's a detention. An' it'll be fine."

Harry shook his head. "Hagrid, you're my first friend I ever had but what you consider fine and what I consider fine are two different things. I already got in trouble being out late 'when it's so dangerous' – McGonagall's words, not mine – and I don't think it's right that I accept being put in danger again. So, if I get sent home, fine. I suffered ten years with my relatives, I guess I can live through five more. I'm in trouble for was trying to keep … someone else … from being in trouble. But I have limits."

At that, he turned and walked back to the castle. Hermione and Draco followed after. Hagrid was disappointed with Harry, but at the same time he knew Harry was right. He was in trouble for helping take care of Norbert.


	4. A Hufflepuff Potter?

Just another take on the WBWL Storyline.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore was very annoyed. The Hat had placed his protege into the wrong house. The boy who lived could NOT be a Hufflepuff.

James and Lily Potter were also up in arms. Potters had been in Gryffindor for centuries.

Finally, the Headmaster had retrieved the necessary people to change this travesty.

"I, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy, Albus Percivel Wulfric Dumbledore, hereby demand a resort of Arnold Potter based on Family Preference. Present are myself; Deputy Headmistress and Head of Gryffindor Minerva McGonagall; Arnold Potter; James Potter, Head of House Potter; Lily Potter, Lady of House Potter; and Augusta Longbottom, Member and Proxy for the Board of Governors. According to Familial Preference, I submit Arnold Potter for a resorting into the House of Gryiffindor, traditional House for members of House Potter."

This particular procedure hadn't been used in centuries - and Dumbledore didn't like the precedent. However, it was a legal move and his plans required it.

Arnold Potter sat on the sorting stool in the middle of the office and the Headmaster placed the Sorting Hat upon his head.

The witnesses were nervous as the Sorting Hat inspected the boy. However, Albus wasn't worried. This was still a valid procedure.

Suddenly the Sorting Hat cried out, "Hufflepuff!"

There was suddenly many cries of protest until Dumbledore calmed them down. "How? The Familial Preference clause is still in place. There hasn't been a non-Gryffindor Potter in centuries!"

The Sorting Hat replied, "I cannot place Arnold Potter in Gryffindor because the Potter family has Disowned itself from the Gryffindor family. No Potter shall ever be allowed to become a Gryffindor unless the House of Potter remarried into Gryffindor sometime in the future."

Albus sat down heavily and looked at James. "James? Do you know what he speaks of?"

Lily and James were just as confused as everyone else.

"Hat? Can you explain?" Albus asked.

The Sorting Hat began be asking to be placed on the shelf where all could see it. After this was done, the Hat continued, "The Lordship of Gryffindor follows the Laws of Primogeniture as in place prior to 1066. Godric Gryffindor had only a daughter. Arleigh of Gryffindor. According to his wishes, the next male born of magic descending from his daughter's legal line would inherit the House of Gryffindor. However, her only child was born a squib."

"And how is this relevant?"

The Sorting Hat looked at James Potter. "The first magical born of the Gryffindor line was Lily Potter nee Evans. Her firstborn Magical Son became Lord Gryffindor."

James was confused. "Yes. Arnold."

The Sorting Hat replied, "No, Harold."

Everyone was confused. "But Harry was a squib!" Lily cried.

"No. His is attending right now as Adrian Deveraux. When he was disowned by the Potter family, it could not change the fact that he was ALREADY Lord Gryffindor. Therefore, the Potters having disowned him irrevocably means that the Potter family has disowned itself from Gryffindor - _irrevocably_."

The babbly was long and loud. Albus, however, thought furiously. Finally, he settled the room down and asked the question he was afraid of asking. "If Adrian Deveraux is Lord Gryffindor, how was he sorted into the House of Slytherin?"

The Sorting Hat had almost a smug tone to it as it said, "Because, by the Laws of Conquest from when the Slytherin Lordship became extant, Adrian Deveraux became the Lord of Slytherin on 31 October 1981 when he defeated Tom Marvolo Riddle, Self-Styled Lord Voldemort, last legal Heir of the House of Slytherin. When given a choice, he chose Slytherin to avoid the _Boy-Who-Lived_."

Poppy Pomphrey had to called when Albus Dumbledore suffered a heart attack.


	5. Veritaserum Part 1

Bunny: Snape threatens Harry with Veritaserum and Harry takes him up on it.

**"Do you know what this is. Potter?" Snape said, his eyes glittering dangerously again.**

**"No," said Harry, with complete honesty this time.**

**"It is Veritaserum - a Truth Potion so powerful that three drops would have you spilling your innermost secrets for this entire class to hear," said Snape viciously. "Now, the use of this potion is controlled by very strict Ministry guidelines. But unless you watch your step, you might just find that my hand slips" - he shook the crystal bottle slightly - "right over your evening pumpkin juice. And then, Potter . . . then we'll find out whether you've been in my office or not."**

* * *

Harry walked back toward the Gryffindor common room, thinking about Snape's threat. Would that be so bad? The only thing he was worried talking about was Sirius, but if there was some control in place … suddenly he had an idea.

He turned the other way and rushed to the one place Hermione would be: The library.

Harry rushed in and said in a harsh whisper, "Hermione!"

Hermione turned and saw a very agitated Harry. "Shhh! What is it?" she whispered.

"I need some help understanding magical contracts … and the laws on the restrictions on Veritaserum."

Hermione looked at Harry with a confused expression but immediately went to retrieve the books she had found earlier in the year after Harry's name came from the Goblet of Fire.

* * *

Severus Snape sat within his quarters, sipping brandy and reviewing a rare potions text. He was first and foremost a Potions Master – and one did not stay ahead without continuous effort.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. He seriously considered ignoring it, but in the end he put his book aside, pushed his brandy further away so as not to spill it, and got up to answer the door.

Upon opening it, he saw a robed Auror standing there. As a former Death Eater, this triggered a deep uneasiness which he made every effort to hide. "Yes?"

"Good evening, Potions Master Snape. The DMLE has been sent a request which requires your expertise. May I come in?"

Snape nodded and backed away to allow the man entrance.

"Please have a seat. Brandy?" Snape asked.

The man shook his head. "No, but thank you. My name is Kingsley Shacklebolt, Senior Auror. The Director of the DMLE received an unusual request. Did you recently review the properties of the Veritaserum potion with your fourth-year students?"

Snape stilled for a moment. "A passing comment during a lesson. It was used as an example in one of my lessons."

Kingsley nodded. "I see. And did you offer to allow Mr. Harry Potter to be questioned as regards possible illegal activity at Hogwarts? Something about potions ingredients?"

Snape really was uncomfortable. "I explained the potion to make an attempt to … enlighten the students regarding a few potions ingredients that have recently come up missing. Mr. Potter has a history of rule-breaking. However, I did not actually use the potion – nor did I demand he take it. It is, after all, restricted."

"Yes. Of course. However, Mr. Potter – after consideration – requested that you be allowed to question him using the potion as regards this matter and other previous concerns that you have voiced as regards his activities. Under Wizengamot 346.34, Veritaserum may be employed in an investigation – provided that the limits of its use are strictly set and agreed to prior to its use." Kingsley paused. "Why he would subject himself willingly is a question Madam Bones was curious about – but it is within his right to request."

Snape sat back, inwardly cursing the sudden elation he felt at the thought. The idea of having Potter under full control was a delicious thought. "And what would be the limitations?"

"Well, there will be a set of strictly defined questions asked. You are free to come up with up to twenty questions. Mr. Potter would also be free to come up with up to twenty questions. Once the Director has reviewed the questions, a contract will be put into place which will magically bind both yourself and Mr. Potter. You will ask the questions – all the questions and no additional ones – and Mr. Potter will be obligated under contract to allow this."

Severus Snape was inwardly feeling glee – even if no one would be able to detect it. "And where would this questioning take place?"

Kingsley paused. "Well, it would be done after dinner in the Great Hall. No student or visitor would be either forced to attend or denied attendance. The limitation on the questioning is only to ensure that no questions would be asked which might put him into jeopardy."

Snape gave every indication of thoughtful reluctance – even if it was an act. "I am not certain that it would be in his best interest. Some of my questions might be … uncomfortable."

Kingsley nodded. "That was understood. Mr. Potter was very specific in his inquiry and his request. He was certain that your viewpoint was emblematic of what he wished to answer."

Snape sat back and then nodded. "When would the questions be needed for review?"

"You can owl me by this Friday – or put them together now. It's up to you. A neutral party will review them to ensure there are no security concerns and then you will get a chance to review the changes. You will not see the questions he supplies until the questioning takes place, and he will not see your questions."

Snape had a twinge of concern. Nobody opened themselves up that much willingly – there had to be a trap. However, he KNEW that the boy had no cunning – so he would be very sure that he would use this opportunity to show the dunderhead's _adoring_ public exactly what he was.

Snape said, "I will have the questions delivered by Friday next."

* * *

Severus Snape reviewed the questions that he had been sent back. He was somewhat disappointed that the questions as regards Black's escape had been altered due to security concerns – but he was overjoyed that the questions he had carefully worded to destroy the boy's image were unchanged. He hid his unholy glee – it would not do to allow the DMLE representatives to see that.

He returned the note acknowledging receipt and prepared himself. It was a Hogsmeade weekend and the contract would be completed in a private room in the Three Broomsticks. He mentally prepared himself to not allow his emotions to be visible.

He would be vindicated!

The next morning, he carefully excused himself from any staff obligations by informing Minerva that he had personal business to attend to and he wouldn't be available until 1:00.

At 11:30, he knocked on the door to the private room. The door opened and Severus saw several people inside. The Director of the DMLE was present, as were the Auror and the brat himself. Also present was a Gringotts goblin.

The goblin was the one to address him. "Severus Tobias Snape. My name is Griphook. I am here to act as an uninvolved third party to this agreement so that I may witness the contract. Do you accept myself as a witness or would you prefer another?"

Snape, having moved inside, nodded curtly. "You are acceptable."

Amelia Bones just watched.

Shacklbolt nodded. "Very well. We have the contract here. The questions have all been reviewed by the DMLE to ensure no security concerns are violated. Both parties have presented a list of questions which have only been seen by the party providing the questions and the Director of the DMLE, Madam Amelia Bones. Do you both understand?"

Potter said, "I do."

Severus just nodded curtly.

Kingsley said, "Very well. As this will be a binding contract, your signatures are required and they must be in blood. Therefore, we will be using a contract quill – only possible because a Gringotts employee stands witness. Do you both understand?"

"Yes."

"Alright."

"You will both review the contract first." He handed the contract first to Snape. He had to once again suppress his glee. This would put Potter right where he wanted him.

Snape returned the contract and Potter reviewed it. Snape had a question. "Can Potter sign this without a guardian?"

Amelia Bones actually answered that. "Upon review, it was determined that Mr. Potter being forced to compete in the Triwizard Tournament did, in fact, provide limited emancipation. As the Ministry, the Chief Warlock, the Supreme Mugwump, and the Hogwarts staff acknowledged his ability to be a party to a contract without a guardian's approval, he is now magically authorized to enter into any binding contract he so wishes."

Snape nodded and watched as Potter completed perusing the document. He was surprised that there was very little emotion present.

Finally, Potter returned the contract to Kingsley with a nod.

All three parties signed off on it (the DMLE had to be included as it involved a regulated potion) and the goblin witnessed it. Magically, three copies were provided which went to each party. The original was taken by the goblin.

"The contract has been signed. The questioning will take place at 7:30 tonight. The Deputy Headmistress will be advised that the facility will be provided and that all students may attend if they so desire.

Snape nodded and then retreated – he really wanted to shout for joy but did not want any witnesses for it.

* * *

Amelia Bones watched Severus Snape exit and Griphook portkey away. Kingsley excused himself and made his way out. She finally turned to Harry. "I hope you know what you're doing. I'm only going along with this because a number of questions that I have had will be answered. And because you were right about Black receiving no trial." She paused. "You know that if I am embarrassed by this, I will make it my life's work to return the favor right?"

Harry nodded. And then began grinning viciously. "You are not the target of tonight's entertainment. I don't care anymore about certain things being known – I get tired of the lies anyway. I look forward to seeing you there."

Amelia nodded and then said ruefully. "You so remind me of your father at his worst when you smile like that."

Harry just grinned wider. "Why, thank you!"

* * *

Severus Snape could barely contain himself. He was joyfully eating dinner when the Deputy Headmistress got everyone's attention.

She didn't look happy.

"Once dinner is concluded and the tables are cleared, the Great Hall will be in use tonight. A Veritaserum question has been agreed to. Severus Snape will be questioning Harry Potter regarding a number of issues. All students are invited to stay but it is not required." She paused and almost had to force herself to continue. "Attending will be members of the Board of Governors, the Press, the DMLE Director, and members of staff. It will begin at 7:30. That is all."

She sat down.

Albus Dumbledore was flummoxed. He began immediately protesting.

Minerva, who had put up a privacy charm, had only one reply. "It is a magically binding agreement which follows the regulations involved. There's nothing we can do about it."

Dumbledore did not have a pleasant hour, seeing as every effort he made to stop this was denied.

* * *

Part two of this will follow in a few days. But anyone who wants to is free to run with it from here.


	6. Veritaserum Part 2

Bunny: Snape threatens Harry with Veritaserum and Harry takes him up on it. Part 2

Harry looked at the group of visitors that were entering the room. He saw Cornelius Fudge coming in with some hideous-looking woman wearing – uggh – pink. He also saw Madam Bones arriving with a couple of others wearing red robes.

Rita Skeeter was looking particularly smug as she sat at the Slytherin table, quill ready to record.

The Headmaster sat at the Head table, looking somewhat unhappy – Harry didn't particularly care. Professor McGonagall also wasn't looking very happy.

_Professor_ Snape, however, looking completely calm and even somewhat animated. Harry judged him to be particularly happy.

Hermione and Ron were both nervous. Harry tried to remain calm. He saw Madam Bones place a chair in front of the dais. She also conjured a rostrum for Snape to place the questions on. She also had the three people in red robes stand so that they could see everyone in the room.

Finally, she nodded at Harry. He stood and walked over to the chair and sat down. The room hushed.

"My name is Madam Amelia Bones. Upon the request of Mr. Harry James Potter, I am here to oversee the administration of Veritaserum to satisfy a magical contract. The law covering this is Wizengamot 346.34 which states the following:

"Wizengamot Decree 346, The Reasonable Restriction on the Use of Potions. Clause 34, The Use of Veritaserum to Resolve Private Disputes.

Whereas Veritaserum is proscribed in its use outside of the limitations enacted under this Decree; and,

Whereas the certainty of truth can resolve Private Disputes, thereby preventing Blood Feud and other violent actions within Magical Britain; and,

Whereas Veritaserum is known, as of the date of this Decree, as being one of the only methods of guaranteeing such a certainty of truth; and,

Whereas the Wizengamot, by Charter, may not prevent the use of Magic that has not otherwise been found to be harmful to Magic or to Magical Users;

Therefore, the use of Veritaserum is allowed to resolve Private Disputes under the following conditions:

1) The use of Veritaserum must be done under the supervision of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

2). Anything revealed may not be used to prosecute the wizard or witch which has been given Veritaserum, hereinafter referred to as SUBJECT, except in the case of High Treason.

3) The exact questions to be asked must be determined before the Use of Veritaserum is performed.

4) SUBJECT and the party with whom SUBJECT is in Dispute, hereinafter referred to as DISPUTEE, shall both submit a determined number of questions to the DMLE Representative. The Representative may require modification to questions so as to prevent the violation of the security of Magical Britain.

5) The list of questions to be used shall be set by Contract before the Use of Veritaserum.

6) The DISPUTEE, or his or her Proxy as set by the Contract, shall ask ALL of the predetermined questions and NO OTHERS. Violation of this may result in prosecution, the loss of DISPUTEE's magic, or other penalties as determined by the Contract.

7) The Representative may, at his or her discretion, require DISPUTEE to ask SUBJECT for clarification or further detail to ensure the predetermined question is fully answered. The Representative may also, at his or discretion, declare a predetermined question to be fully answered, whereby the DISPUTEE must move to the next question on the list.

8) A qualified Mediwizard or Mediwitch must verify that SUBJECT is not suffering from an allergy or other medical condition which may cause the Use of Veritaserum to be considered dangerous.

9) A Mediwizard or Mediwitch shall be on hand to ensure SUBJECT is not harmed. The Mediwizard or Mediwitch shall be the ONLY person able to cancel the contract without penalty but only to prevent physical or magical harm to SUBJECT.

10) Once the Use of Veritaserum is complete, the Antidote will be given. Once the Antidote is administered, the Use of Veritaserum shall be considered complete and the future Use of Veritaserum would require a new Contract as described within this Clause."

Amelia looked at the two. "Mr. Potter. Have you been diagnosed by a Mediwizard or Mediwitch to be physically and magically safe to be administered Veritaserum?"

Harry nodded. "Madam Pomfrey has checked me out. She is also here." Harry pointed to the Hogwarts Healer – who also didn't look very happy.

Amelia nodded. "Mr. Snape. Have you the list of predetermined questions as certified by the DMLE?"

Snape nodded. "I do."

Amelia looked out at the audience and then back to the two. "And both of you have agreed to allow the audience to view this procedure?"

"Yes."

"I did."

Amelia said, "Very well. I have both the potion and the antidote, certified as being properly brewed by my Department." She showed the two vials. "Do you both accept this?"

"I do."

"Yes."

"I shall now administer the drops and ask the test questions. At that point, Mr. Snape may begin."

* * *

Severus could barely contain his glee as he watched the Veritaserum being administered. The brat answered the test questions properly and Madam Bones backed away and nodded to him.

He looked at his list. The first question was one of his making. He suppressed his glee.

"Mr. Potter. Have you ever been within my Potions supplies without authorization?"

He felt quite smug as he asked the question.

"No."

Snape was a bit surprised but only a little. "Have you ever sabatoged another student's work for your own amusement?" He knew the little brat was just like his father.

"No."

Another surprise. Well, the next question would break it wide open. "Have you ever committed a prank against another student within Hogwarts?" He was certain he had him. He hadn't liked the fact that Madam Bones had added the last two words, but it mattered little.

"No."

He was a bit flummoxed at that. He was certain … well, he at least could get him on his bullying of his godson.

"How many verbal, physical or magical have you had with students who are or became members of the House of Slytherin?"

Harry paused at that. After a minute, Madam Bones directed him to ask a question. "Why haven't you answered the question?"

"I am counting." Snape felt his glee increase.

"Very well. I ask the question again: How many verbal, physical or magical altercations have you had with students who are or became members of the House of Slytherin?"

After another minute, Harry answered. "Eighty-seven."

With a barely concealed smirk, he asked the followup: "How many of the eighty-seven altercations with current or future members of the House of Slytherin have you instigated?"

"None."

Severus Snape was taken aback. He could not believe that in such a large sample that there were no instances where the dunderhead instigated it. He looked at the next item and suddenly was not quite so happy about asking this question.

"What was your first altercation with a current or future member of House Slytherin?"

"On the Hogwarts Express, before first year."

"With whom did you have the altercation?" His godson had described it quite well. He had to show Potter for the bully he was.

"Draco Malfoy, Vincent Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle."

Severus Snape felt righteous as he came to the next item. "Describe the altercation."

"Malfoy entered the compartment I was in without knocking. He asked if I was Harry Potter. He then gave his name. Ron tried to hide his snicker because Malfoy sounded like a ponce as he gave his name. Malfoy then insulted Ron and his family. He then offered to steer me to what he claimed were the right families. I refused because he insulted my first friend. Malfoy then told me that I would end up like my parents. When Ron and I stood and told him we would fight him if he didn't leave. He refused and said that he felt like staying and taking the food we had because they had already eaten their own. Ron tried to stop him, but Goyle was bitten by Scabbers. They then ran off."

Snape had been horrified as the incident was described. It was nothing like what Draco had described. It also made his godson look very bad. He glanced out and saw that many audience members were now glaring at the Malfoys. Narcissa was not looking very happy with Draco – and Lucius was not looking very happy with Snape. He really wished he had investigated before putting that item down.

Snape sighed. He then noticed Amelia motioning to him. She gave him the parchment slip with her question.

"Who or what is 'Scabbers'?"

"Scabbers is Peter Pettigrew who was hiding as a pet rat with the Weasleys."

There was a loud hubbub from the audience. The Minister was protesting loudly. Madam Bones had to work to get the room calmed down.

Amelia had been surprised. She addressed the audience. "As this involved possible High Treason, as the DMLE Director I will be forcing clarification from Mr. Potter."

She wrote another slip and handed it to Snape.

"Did the Weasleys know that their pet rat was Peter Pettigrew in hiding?"

"Not to my knowledge."

He read the slip and asked, "How do you know it was Peter Pettigrew?"

"Because I saw him transform third year when he was forced to Sirius Black and Remus Lupin."

Snape read the next items on the slip. "Where and when did this take place?" And, after that was answered, "Describe exactly what took place within the Shrieking Shack that night."

Snape glanced out and saw that the Minister and his toady (she really did look like a toad) had been silenced by one of the Aurors to prevent him from interfering. As it was required by the contract, there was nothing Fudge or the toady could do about it.

Severus Snape was suddenly feeling quite regretful about agreeing to this. It did not show him in a very good light – at all. In fact, NOTHING about this had shown him in a good light. He suddenly couldn't wait until it was over.

Once Potter had given his oh so very revealing description, Madam Bones directed him to continue on with the list. He noted the time. The dose would last another 42 minutes. He was almost hoping that it would run out before this was done.

Verituserum contained a wheat-germ extract as a source of thiamine. Its reaction time within the human body was 56 minutes, after which the thiamine no longer reacted. As it was a necessary element to access the portion of the brain necessary, Veritserum was no longer effective after 56 minutes. Veritaserum could only be administered once every 24 hours or it would cause brain damage. The opium extract which rendered the subject malleable had a very distinctive reaction if given more often than that.

The Contract prevented him from deliberately forcing the questioning to be slower so as to activate the medical necessity clause. There were several more questions he wrote – and the ones that Potter provided.

He looked at the next question. At least he could prove that Potter was spoiled – he knew that woebegone look was a farce.

"Describe the best birthday party you have ever had?" There. The sheep would see how much he was pampered.

"I've never had a birthday party."

The audience was suddenly very quiet. Severus Snape really started to hate this.

"What was the most expensive birthday gift your guardians have ever given you?"

"I haven't received a birthday gift from my guardians."

Severus saw Albus' face. He was looking quite upset – and Severus got the distinct impression that he was more upset about this being known than the fact that it happened.

He was almost terrified to ask the next question.

"What was the most expensive Christmas gift that your guardians ever gave you?"

Harry paused. "A pair of worn socks that Uncle Vernon gave me when I was eight."

At this point, he was dreading the next question. "Describe the bedroom you grew up in."

There were cries of protest as Potter described the cupboard under the stairs. A number of female students were crying. Amelia Bones looked apoplectic.

She handed him another slip for clarification. "Is that your current bedroom?"

"No."

He looked at the slip. "Describe your current bedroom."

Although it was better than a cupboard, Potter's description of the lock and the cat flap did not make his home life look much improved.

Snape looked at the next question. There must be something that would show Potter for what he really was. The next questions looked to be the best bet.

"What was your first instance of accidental magic that you remember?"

"My hair regrew overnight after my Aunt Petunia shaved my hair off for being too messy."

Snape considered the boy. "And how did your family celebrate this occurrence?"

"I was locked in my cupboard for a week without food."

"How old were you?"

"Six."

Albus had his face in his hands. Minerva was looking at the Headmaster with loathing.

Severus really didn't want to ask those last few questions after getting the first answered. But the contract was magically binding. He had five more of his original questions.

"When did you first find out you were a wizard?"

"On my eleventh birthday."

"Who taught you Wizarding etiquette?" He had put this one in to get whoever tutored the brat in trouble. Potter's refusal to shake Draco's hand was egregious. That it was already explained didn't matter to the contract.

"No one."

Amelia motioned him and handed him another slip. "Who is your magical guardian?"

"I don't know."

"Who introduced you to the Wizarding World?"

"Hagrid." The two questions from Madam Bones produced another outcry. McGonagall looked like she wanted to kill Albus.

"Did you enter or ask someone else to enter you into the Triwizard tournament?"

"No."

Two more questions. They were his only hope for showing Potter as the attention seeking brat he was.

"Why did you fly a car to school at the beginning of you second year?"

"Because the portal locked me and Ron out from the platform."

One more question. THIS was his only hope. THIS would prove that the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Potter was an attention-seeking prat. Potter's spawn was certain to be one as well.

"Why did you instigate this spectacle of being questioned in front of all of these witnesses?"

"Because I am tired of the lies that are told about me. Also, because I consider this torture and I wanted everyone to see how much you enjoy torturing me."

The entirety of the Great Hall was now looking at him. And very few of those faces looked particularly friendly to him. He really was regretting allowing himself to be sucked into this.

And he still had the questions that Potter had provided to ask. He hoped these questions would distract the masses. Otherwise, he didn't give himself much of a chance to survive this.

* * *

Okay. I haven't decided whether to finish this. The Bunny was entirely about Harry's last answer. However, Harry's questions might be enlightening. I'm still thinking about it.


	7. Veritaserum Part 3 (Final)

Bunny: Snape threatens Harry with Veritaserum and Harry takes him up on it. Part 2

Snape deliberately moved to the next list of questions. His gambit to prove Potter's Spawn as having atrocious character had thus far failed. He had left himself too far open to character assassination.

He could only hope that the brat's questions would show him for what Snape knew him to be: Worthless, and a stain upon all wizard-kind.

Snape looked at the first question from Potter's list.

"Do you feel you have been guilty of the accusations that I have placed upon you this year, including the reason why you were placed within the tournament or the theft of potions ingredients from my storeroom?"

Snape actually respected that question. It didn't particularly demand that his accusations be refuted directly; it only required Potter's mentality.

"No."

No real surprises there.

"Why did you agree to compete in the Triwizard Tournament?" This also seemed interesting.

"Because I was told by the Ministry and the Headmaster that I had to compete or lose my magic."

"Would you have competed within the tournament if you had not been forced?"

"No."

Snape was actually somewhat relieved so far. The questions seemed fairly innocent and did not show Snape poorly.

The next question was also of interest to him.

"What do you hope to gain from agreeing to this questioning in the manner it is being given?"

"I want people to know the truth and to stop giving false accusations against me."

Well the first four were neutral. Snape started feeling a bit of hope. The next question proved to be a point of interest. He turned to Madam Bones.

"The next question is regarding the incident with Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew at the end of last year. It has already been answered. Should I ask anyway?"

Madam Bones looked at her own copy of the questions. "Mr. Potter's question 5 has already been asked and answered. I certify that it need not be asked again."

Snape nodded. Potter just sat there.

"During your second year, the other students reacted poorly when you spoke to the snake during the lesson or Dueling. What happened before you spoke, what was the English translation of what you said to the snake, and what was the result?" Another question he was interested in.

"When the snake started moving toward Justin Finch-Fletchley to attack him, I said 'Leave Him Alone!' and the snake relaxed and backed off from attacking."

There was a murmuring from the Hufflepuff table. The fourth-year Hufflepuffs looked embarrassed – especially Finch-Fletchley. The other Hufflepuffs looked surprised.

He looked at the next question and decided that he was interested in this as well. He was actually slightly – VERY slightly – impressed with the thought that went into the questions so far. His own questions seemed immature and childish by comparison.

"Without naming the student involved, how was the Chamber of Secrets opened in you second year, who was responsible, and how was it accomplished?"

"A Diary was slipped to a student by Lucius Malfoy in Diagon Alley. When the student innocently wrote in the Diary, it possessed the student to open the Chamber and to order to basilisk to attack the school. The Diary was Voldemort's and it allowed the student to speak Parseltounge."

Snape glanced out and he really didn't like the look that Lucius was now giving him and Potter. The Minister was looking at Lucius with Horror – and an Auror (not one of the three guarding him and Potter) was now standing right behind him. Madam Bones was motioning the Auror.

He really was not happy about exposing such secrets in front of the multitudes. Albus didn't look very happy either. He resolutely looked to the next question.

"What happened to the Diary and the Basilisk?"

"When I was facing the basilisk, the Headmaster's phoenix brought me the Sorting Hat and then gouged the eyeballs out on the basilisk. The Sorting Hat dropped Gryffindor's sword on my head. I used the sword to kill the basilisk. I used the fang that had broken off after entering my arm to stab the Diary after Fawkes brought it to me. This destroyed the shade of Voldemort that was killing the student by draining her life force."

There was shock in the audience. Even Snape was shocked. Potter was bitten by the basilisk? Madam Bones slipped him a slip of parchment. Thank Merlin – he didn't know if he could have prevented himself from asking this question.

"If you were bit by a basilisk, how are you still alive?"

"Fawkes healed it by crying phoenix tears on my arm." Ahh. That would do it.

Snape read the next question on the slip. "How large was the basilisk and was its carcass removed?"

"About sixty feet long and about eight feet around. It's still there." There were many gasps from the audience.

He was mildly upset that Albus hadn't told him about the basilisk corpse – it was quite valuable. He looked forward to getting Albus to force the boy to help retrieve it.

Madam Bones slipped him another parchment and his momentary elation was squelched. "Are you aware or were you told that you own the carcass of the basilisk by dint of you having killed it in single combat?"

"No."

Albus, who had calmed down somewhat because the last questions had taken the pressure off (Fawkes was his phoenix after all!), was now once again under the disapproving scrutiny of several people.

Well, that was eight of the Spawn's questions. For the most part, they were fairly well reasoned. He must have had the know-it-all's help in writing them.

He looked at the next question. He got a bad feeling about this.

"Before attending Hogwarts, what did you think about the subject of Potions?"

"I was really interested in it. It looked to be fun and quite useful."

The next question gave him a sense of foreboding.

"What is you opinion of the subject of Potions after having attended classes with Potions Master Snape?"

"I despise the subject."

The next question made him inwardly squirm.

"Why do you feel that way?"

"Because I am constantly attacked by the Professor, Slytherin students are allowed to sabotage my potions without being punished, and the Professor refuses to explain anything and only belittles my lack on knowledge."

Damn. And he had been feeling so much better with the audience's attention focused elsewhere. There were a few Ministry officials in the audience which could make his life hell because of this. And none of them looked very happy.

He looked at the next question. He turned to Madam Bones – who looked extremely upset with him. "The next question involved his placement within the Triwizard Tournament and has already been answered. Should I ask it anyway?"

Madam Bones – thank Merlin! – moved her attention off of the Potions Master and to her notes. She reviewed the question and said, "Mr. Potter's question 12 has already been asked and answered. I certify that it need not be asked again."

Snape quickly moved to the next question. Hopefully it would take the audience's mind off of him again.

"Of the stories written in the Daily Prophet about you this year, how many have you seen and did the stories accurately reflect you, your words, or your opinions?"

"I have read eleven. None of the stories were accurate except that Rita Skeeter interviewed me. None of what she wrote that I said was true."

Rita looked at the people around her. She suddenly was not very happy about getting to cover this. And there was a WWN reporter broadcasting this live – and so it wouldn't be easy to give this the proper spin.

Snape looked at the next question. He was curious as to why this question was allowed.

Madam Bones also knew what the next question was. She would certainly be catching flak for allowing it, but she couldn't in good conscience refuse the question as there was nothing that she knew of which negatively impacted security.

"What actions have you seen done by Ministry staff which you found questionable or did not agree with?"

One of the three Aurors had to once again silence Fudge and his toady.

"I received a warning for underage magic when the magic was performed by a house elf, Fudge put Hagrid in Azkaban because, according to him, he had to be seen as doing something, even though Hagrid was innocent. I was not given a warning when I accidently blew up Aunt Marge with accidental magic after she insulted my mother and father. Dementors were placed around Hogwarts last year even though they were far more dangerous to me than my godfather Sirius ever was. I was attacked three times by them and Sirius only attacked twice to catch Peter Pettigrew. Mr. Crouch accused his elf of casting the Dark Mark at the World Cup when we told him that we heard the voice casting it was a human male. He gave her clothes unfairly. I was forced to compete in the Triwizard Tournament by Bagman and Crouch. Bagman tried to help me on the sly, even though I refused. They allowed students at Hogwarts to be placed under the Imperius Curse to see what it was like."

Madam Bones motioned violently. She handed over a slip of parchment. Snape looked at it. "Who placed the students under the Imperius curse?"

"Professor Moody."

"What were you forced to do under the Imperius Curse?" Snape noticed that Madam Bones had sent another Auror who was present over to grab Moody, just like she had grabbed Lucius. Now there were two people present under restraint.

"Nothing."

There was confusion in the audience. Madam Bones slipped another note.

"How do you know that you were under the Imperius if you weren't forced to do anything?"

"Professor Moody tried to force me to jump on the desk. I fought it off and instead fell and hurt my leg. He repeated doing it four more times until I threw it off completely. All of the other students I saw were forced to do simple things. Their descriptions matched my own."

Madam Bones was looking at Potter speculatively. She then motioned him that she was done and he should move on.

Snape looked at the next question. It looked to be just as bad or worse than some of the others.

"What punishments have you received at Hogwarts that you felt were unfair and why?"

"I've lost points in Potions for not answering a question that wasn't in the book, for breathing too loudly, and for protecting myself when I was attacked by Draco Malfoy. Professor McGonagall took 50 points each off of me and two other Gryffindors for being out of bounds after curfew and only took 20 from Malfoy who was also out after curfew and trying to get us into trouble by telling her we had a dragon. We were sent into the ForbiddenForest after curfew as detention for being out after curfew in order to catch whatever was killing the unicorns. I've been punished for attacking Malfoy when we were defending ourselves after he attacked us or tried to attack us. He was never punished for starting it. Professor Snape has taken points off for asking questions and for not preventing another student from making a mistake when I was trying to work on my own potion."

Madam Bones curtly passed another slip.

"Did you have a dragon?"

"Not when we were caught." Madam Bones started preparing another slip but motioned him to finish the current one.

"Did you see what was killing the unicorns?"

"Yes."

"What was killing the unicorns?"

"Professor Quirrell who was being possessed by Voldemort."

The audience definitely became much louder. There were a few screams. Madam Bones addressed the audience. "Once again, this involved possible High Treason so clarification will be required."

She wrote a few questions quickly. Snape looked at the time. Only ten more minutes. He took the parchment and nodded. "Madam Bones will be acting as my proxy to clarify this."

Madam Bones knew there were only a few minutes left. She didn't want to waste them.

"How do you know Quirrell was being possessed?"

"I saw and talked to Voldemort when I was trying to prevent him from getting the Philisopher's Stone. I also fought him."

"When was this?"

"First year."

Madam Bones briefly paused. "Where was the Philospher's Stone?"

"In the Forbidden Corridor."

"What is the Forbidden Corridor?"

"The corridor that Professor Dumbledore told us not to go to unless we wanted to die a painful death."

"Why did you go to the Forbidden Corridor?"

"When I realized that Voldemort was trying to make a play to come back, I went to stop him."

"Why didn't you get a Professor to stop it?"

"We tried. But Professor McGonagall wouldn't listen to us."

As he wasn't asking questions, he had a chance to look more fully. And Minerva was looking quite pale – and embarrassed.

Madam Bones looked at Harry for a moment. "Before you were caught, did you have a dragon?"

"Yes."

"Where did the dragon go?"

"We sent it to the Dragon Preserve."

"Where did it come from?"

"Hagrid got it when he was tricked by Quirrell into revealing how to get past Fluffy."

"What is a 'Fluffy'?"

"A three-headed dog in the Forbidden Corridor."

"There was a Cerberus in Hogwarts?"

"Yes."

"What else was in the Corridor?"

"Flying keys, Devils Snare, a large Chess Set, a troll, walls of flames and a Potions puzzle, and the Mirror of Erised."

"How did you get past these?"

"I played a flute to lull Fluffy. Hermione used a spell on the Devil's Snare. We flew brooms and I caught the key for the door with help, Ron played the Chess game and sacrificed himself to get me and Hermione through, the troll was already down because of Voldemort, Hermione solved the potions puzzle which got us through the flames, and I got the stone from the Mirror. I also fought Quirrell and Voldemort to prevent him from getting the stone. His skin burned when he tried to grab me. So I put my hands on his face in order to stop him from cursing me."

"Why did his skin burn?"

"Professor Dumbledore said it was because of my mother's sacrifice. It protected me when I was a baby and it protected me again when Quirrell attacked."

Madam Bones knew she needed to talk to Dumbledore. She turned it back over to Snape.

Snape read the next question. Four more.

"What do you know about Voldemort and how did you find it out?"

"He attacked me as a baby. Hagrid told me that when he told me I was a wizard. He possessed Quirrell and tried to steal the Philisopher's Stone from Hogwarts after failing to steal if from Gringotts because it was removed. I saw the story in the Prophet about the failed robbery. His name is really Tom Marvolo Riddle. He rearranged the letters in his name to make 'I am Lord Voldemort' because he wanted to get rid of his muggle father's name. The shade from the Diary told me. He's using the Triwizard Tournament to attack me. I saw it in a vision before this year started, even though I didn't know at the time that it was a vision instead of a dream. He's trying to get a body back. He killed a man who found him and Pettigrew in some old house."

Madam Bones wanted to clarify – but time was running out. She motioned Snape to continue.

Three more.

"What houses did the Sorting Hat consider placing you in?"

"It considered all of them and said I had the traits needed. It wanted to put me in Slytherin."

Damn. That made a lot of sense. Potter had used the law to destroy many people tonight. Quite cunning really. Even if one was himself. He was at least THAT honest with himself.

"Why did it place you in Gryffindor?"

"Because I refused to go to Slytherin because Draco Malfoy went there and he was a bigoted snob toward me and Ron. I wanted nothing to do with him."

He didn't know whether to curse his godson or reward him. Potter would have made a good Slytherin – especially on the quidditch team. But he would not have wanted to deal with him as one of his own.

Snape looked at the last question. Before he could ask, Madam Bones interjected. "Mr. Potter's question twenty was, ironically, exactly the same as Mr. Snape's question 20. As it has been asked and answered, I am certifying that it does not need to be asked."

Snape nodded and backed away. One of the Aurors administered the antidote.

The boy looked around and saw the various looks that he was being given. Very few were happy. He turned to Madam Bones. "Can I be excused now?"

Madam Bones nodded. "Yes. But I will be back tomorrow to speak to you, around five. I will be up late tonight dealing with a few things that have been revealed. You didn't embarrass me and I thank you for that. You did embarrass pretty much everyone else. I'd stay under the eyes of close friends. And if anyone tries to talk to you before me, tell them I said not to. Any questions?"

"None." Potter stood and motioned to his lackeys. They and the chaos twins joined him and they all moved out, heads held high.

Madam Bones turned to the audience. "All students are excused. The rest of the audience – we have a few things to go over before we're done. Make yourselves comfortable. This will take a while."

* * *

The fallout from The Questioning (it was being capitalized) was extreme. Very few people came out unscathed. Lucius Malfoy was put in prison after a hasty trial. Fudge didn't last long either – and his toady went with him.

Severus Snape barely survived – but was under strict probation both at Hogwarts and with the Ministry. He was not allowed to teach students who weren't NEWT level and another Potions Mistress was retained to teach the first five years. He was also replaced as head of house. He had a restraining order placed on him which prevented him from interacting with Potter – he was happy to comply.

Minerva McGonagall received a scathing reprimand for her records.

Draco Malfoy was transferred to a school unknown. Harry was happy just to not see him.

Dumbledore barely stayed out of jail – but didn't last very long in his positions of power. He only remained Headmaster because the Tournament required it. All other duties were turned over. He would disappear after the year was over - after having been seen entering Gringotts. He wasn't seen leaving. No one wanted to enquire.

Alastor Moody was rescued – after the fake was prevented from drinking his polyjuice. His capture led to Pettigrew and Voldemort being caught – the Department of Mysteries put the homonculous under the Draught of the Living Death until they could figure out how he survived.

Sirius Black was pardoned – and then took custody of his godson. Sirius also backed his friends in their joke shop.

The Dursleys were forcibly moved and placed under protection – there were now many magicals who wanted them dead. They had a very uncomfortable life for the next several years.

All in all, it was a much more pleasant Hogwarts career for Harry after The Questioning. All because Snape threatened him with Veritaserum


	8. A DIFFERENT Lone Traveler (CRACK)

A/N: This chapter is COMPLETE CRACK. It was the result of my working for inspiration on the rest of my stories. Unfortunately, I like MA fics a bit too much. There's no real smut here cause ... well, I don't want to upset too many people and it wasn't the point of the story.

The Lone Traveler is kind of a goody two-shoes, the second traveler mentioned is looking for the easy way out and does things that don't take into account consequences. What if there was a third Traveler? Now, hear the story of ...

* * *

THE LONE HEDONIST

The students of Hogwarts were eating dinner. It was 1998. The war against Voldemort had been won in May, but at great cost. A very large number of defenders had been lost. A number of families had been decimated. Even now, there was a shortage of wizards.

Harry Potter sat at the Gryffindor table brooding. He had lost his best mate, Ron, in the final battle. Dean had disappeared since he saw him at Shell Cottage. Seamus had returned for the repeat of 7th year. Neville had as well, but was almost as broody as Harry.

Ginny Weasley, greiving for two of her three brothers, had not tried to get back together with Harry after things had settled down. It wouldn't have worked anyway - Harry was still too distracted. Instead she had joined the flock of girls trying to woo Neville.

Hermione Granger, the Head Girl by popular support as well as the backing of many professors, had also returned. She had grieved much when Ron was lost - they had started to become close. Now she spent her time trying to prevent her friend Harry from being doused with potions day and night (she had already assigned 8 detentions to various girls from 5th year on up).

Suddenly, a bright light appeared at the front of the hall. Instead of being one color, it was a psychedelic kaleidoscope of purples, acid greens, and other colors which reminded one of the seventies.

Out of this light stepped a figure. When everyone could finally make out the man's features, there was a collective gasp.

Before them stood Harry Potter! But not the Harry Potter that most were used to. Instead it was a slightly older version. Instead of robes or raggety muggle clothes, he wore a sharp purple suit with a yellow shirt. Around his neck was a heavy golden chain with the word "PIMP" formed in gold. And on top of his head was a purple fedora with a long pheonix feather held by a band of basilisk skin (the underskin - not the scales).

The figure looked around and said, "Huh. Hogwarts again." He turned and saw who was at the table and said, "Hello, Headmistress."

Minerva McGonagall, upon seeing the disturbance, had stood and taken out her wand. She, however, had relaxed slightly when she saw who was before her. "Mr. Potter. How are there two of you within the hall?"

The Traveler looked over at where he had traditionally sat when at school and saw that, yes, there was another Harry Potter present.

"Due to an accident with a time turner and an untested spell, I have become somewhat ... disassociated from the concept of time. I end up in places where my particular skill set seems to be needed."

"And what is that skill set?" she asked with a pinched face.

The Traveler smirked and said, "Perhaps it's better that I keep that to myself for the moment. Premature revelation could prove catastrophic."

She looked at the visitor for a moment and said, "Very well. But I will need some verification of your true identity."

The visitor smirked and said, "I can accept that." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out ... a miniaturized cane. He gave it a flick and it expanded out. Out of the handle he pulled a wand which appeared to be pure ebony. "I swear on my life and magic that I am Harry Potter, son of James and Lily Potter, Godson of the Great One, Sirius 'Silver Dog' Black. So mote it be!" He then flicked his wand and a shower of multicolored sparks shot out.

"Very well. Welcome to Hogwarts."

The visitor nodded. "May I consult with my dimensional brother? It seems likely that I have to help him correct a few issues."

McGonagall nodded and motioned toward the Gryffindor table.

Hermione was staring at the new version of Harry and back to her friend. She got the idea that things would become very interesting, very quickly.

The resident Harry looked confused.

* * *

TIME SKIP for clothes talking, lessons ...

Hermione was very curious. "How did you have a time-turner accident?"

Harry the Pimp grinned. "I was trying to test out a spell which would allow me to interact with my past self so that I could have a threesome with a particularly hot chick from my home universe ..."

TIME SKIP for shopping, walking lessons, a trip to a brothel or two, a visit to Gringotts, negotiations with a number of families with beatiful daughters ...

* * *

Harry the Pimp walked into the now enlarged bedroom at 12 Grimmauld Place. He smirked as he saw that his dimensional twin was barely awake. He was surrounded by a number of naked girls who looked to be passed out with pleasure. The local Hermione had fallen asleep apparently still ... attached.

"Well, I think you've got it. It's time for me to move on. Just remember, life is too short to pass up the chance with a hot chick."

The local Harry smirked almost in the exact same way. "Thanks for the help."

Pimp Harry nodded and turned. He compressed down into a small ball of psychedelic light. The sound of pheonix song wafted around the room. The sound had woken up Hermione. She looked around, confused, and asked, "When did we get a VCR to work so we could watch porn?"


	9. LH 2: Pimp Harry helps another Harry

No … I won't start another series. But the Lone Hedonist was interesting enough for me to do a second one. Just because. This is only mildly funny though. Very mildly.

* * *

The Lone Hedonist Helps a Random Harry

Harry looked around at the new universe he was dropped into. Hmmm … it looked like Gringotts. There were several people looking at him. "Hello, Folks! What seems to be the problem?"

Only one person seemed to be unshocked enough to reply – goblins really don't get surprised by much. "Well, you have arrived during the Inheritance interview for Mr. Harry James Potter …"

Harry heard his dimensional counterpart call out, "Jamie!" Harry looked over and saw … _shudder_ … his dimensional twin looking lovingly at a … _MASSIVE shudder_ … much more flamboyantly dressed version of _Draco Malfoy_.

The goblin looked over at the young wizard. "Yes. Whatever. Your legal name is Harry James Potter – whatever silly human nickname you have taken for yourself."

The local Harry huffed. "Well, you were just busy telling me why I can't get my inheritance. I don't see why I have to follow your rules!"

Harry Pimp was curious. "Why can't he get his inheritance?"

The goblin looked at the local Harry who motioned the goblin to answer – being too involved in pouting to answer himself.

"Mr. Potter, to accept his inheritance, must either marry four women or must get four women impregnated so that his houses are not lost. If he refuses to accept the condition, the estate will be turned over to the closest male relative. And Mr. Potter will no longer be able to purchase," here the _goblin_ shuddered, "any further marital aids."

The local Harry once again interjected. "And I was telling him it's impossible. My soul-mate is Draco-love and so I can't get married." He paused for a moment and then petulantly added, "Besides. Girls are _icky_."

Harry Pimp almost hurled when he saw Draco Malfoy leave over and kiss this alternate on the head in comfort.

He turned back to the goblin. "What are the requirements?"

The goblin replies, "Mr. Potter must either impregnate several women or get married. We don't see the problem. Even Mr. Malfoy's father married a woman and had a child – even though his son didn't fall far from the rock as they say. We at Gringotts don't care what he does with his life, but a biological child of House Potter must be provided or planned or he must renounce it."

Harry Pimp thought about it. "Er. By the way, I'm a 'Harry Potter' too … from another universe."

The local Harry whispered, "A Breeder!" in awe.

The goblin looked at the local Harry and said, "Elucidate."

"Well … I recognize what the visiting Harry is wearing. And among those in _my_ community, we call those that have male-female relationships _breeders_ – it's their job to provide the next generation." He turned to the visiting Harry. "Will you help me out by agreeing to get four women pregnant with Potter children for me? I'll pay for the women's support, love them as my own children – just so long as I don't have to do _that_ with a woman." At the word _that_, Harry made a face.

The visiting Harry was curious. "What's the problem with women?"

Harry looked at Draco, who nodded. Harry turned back and solemnly replied, "My darling Aunt Petunia decided that I needed to help Vernon with _family duties_ when I was eight years old. She ended up shived in prison and I ended up scarred for life."

Harry nodded in understanding. "I guess I can see your point." He turned back to the goblin. "Will that be acceptable?"

The goblin shrugged. "As long as you prove you're a Potter by blood, we will accept it." He paused and then continued, "It's a very acceptable and traditional method in some of the older families."

Draco and the local Harry smirked at each other.

* * *

Harry Pimp was surprised to find himself in a room with Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, Narcissa Malfoy, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, and Andromeda Tonks. Well, not surprised to be in the room with them – surprised that it was so friendly.

"So, what happened to Voldemort?" Harry Pimp was curious.

Lucius "Luscious" Malfoy fielded that question. "Well, after lovely Sev here," he put his hand over the Potion's master with obvious affection, "reported that my son was following in my footsteps with lovely Harry here, I couldn't very well allow such a person to threaten my boy's happiness. So I worked with Albus – who was very sympathetic to the problem – to make certain he wouldn't be back."

"Ah." After considering that he dismissed that train of thought and said, "So. Prospects?"

The Drarry Harry replied, "Well, I've gotten offers from several female friends to be surrogates. If it wasn't for the fact that the child has to be conceived 'normally' I would have taken them up on it. Most of them are of age as of right now."

Harry Pimp nodded. "Just no one who's jailbait – I may be a pleasure-seeking, pimpin' babe-magnet of a lothario – but I'm no pedophile."

Narcissa smirked viciously as she replied, "In the Wizarding world, the age of consent with a parent's permission is twelve."

Harry hid his shudder. _Twelve?_ Wizards were screwed up. He replied, "Sorry – no one under seventeen. I'm under Magical oath." He wasn't really – but this was his standard reply.

Drarry Harry pouted. "That means I can't foist Fangirl Ginny off on you. That girl has been a menace."

Sirius nodded in agreement. "Yeah. I had to teach him the Marauders' tricks on avoiding potions." Remus nodded in agreement to that one.

After a long and interesting meeting, Luscious asked Pimp Harry to stay back. After most left the room, all that was left was the elder Malfoys and Severus Snape.

"I was wondering if you might help another wizard in a similar circumstance," Lucy began.

Pimp Harry was interested. "Oh? Whom needs the help?"

"Well, Cissy here has been wanting another child. And with how hard it was to perform with a woman to get Draco, it hasn't happened. Her normal bevy of lovers are, none of them, from a prestigious enough family to allow their seed to be used. So, we were wondering if you would consent to spending enough time with her to ensure she is left with child."

Harry looked over at Narcissa, who was eyeing him with a hungry look. "Well, she's quite the MILF – I don't think I'd have problem with that."

* * *

By the time Harry was moved on by the multiverse, there were far more than four babies waiting to be born. Pimp Harry didn't mind the time spent – women during certain times of their pregnancies were often quite horny.


	10. Slytherin Harry: Dumbledore Acts

A/N: Inspired by Anari's "Lost-Hope" ST ID: 4086213 and an occasionally used plot bunny (done occasionally but far too often done poorly). A bunny which will see Albus Dumbledore as the hero – as unusual as that is in fanfiction. And Slytherin House and Severus Snape to a smaller degree.

The premise is that Harry's been sorted into Slytherin – and has been receiving all of the vitriol that might occur should that have happened. This bunny only has the beginning and the ending – the middle would take many chapters. However, this Harry doesn't have some weird magical ability causing the inability for charms to read him beyond a block his own magic created to protect him at the Dursleys.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore sat within his office, contemplating the staff meeting just completed. He sighed wearily as he listened to the complaints by varying professors about Harry Potter. Somehow, as much as he despised the idea of Harry Potter being sorted into Slytherin, he could not find it within himself to believe the accusations so utterly.

Suddenly, the castle wards sent him an alarm: There was an attack in progress. He rushed out of his office. When he arrived at the location the wards had given he found Harry Potter slumped against a wall, unconscious.

He frantically started performing diagnostic charms – only to find out that none would register any problems. However, a brief physical inspection showed a number of injuries.

When he concluded, as best he could, that none were particularly life threatening he contemplated his next step.

Suddenly he heard his caretaker. Before he could say anything, Argus came around the corner yelling, "Just like I've been told! A student out of bounds! It's detention for …" It was then that Mr. Filch saw exactly who was before him.

Albus, hiding his supreme irritation, asked, "Who exactly told you there was a student out of bounds?"

"Er, Headmaster?" Filch asked nervously.

"I ask again: Who told you there was a student out of bounds?"

"Er. A prefect. Gryffindor. Don't remember … which one?"

Albus contemplated that for a moment. Apparently, this attack was premeditated. At this point – he didn't think he could trust ANY of his staff. So, with supreme authority obvious in his voice, Albus Dumbledore said, "Mr. Filch. A student was attacked. However, instead of actually checking, you made an assumption that it was his fault. I will be speaking about this with you soon. However, at this moment I am declaring this a castle secret – you may tell no one what you have seen. Do you understand?"

Nervously, Filch nodded and said, "Yes, Headmaster."

Albus called out, "Fawkes!" A bright flame appeared in the hall and formed into a phoenix. "I have need of your help. We are taking Mr. Potter to St. Mungos." He wished he could trust Poppy – but even she had made unkind faces when Mr. Potter was mentioned. At this point, he was contemplating extreme measures.

* * *

Harry groaned as he came to consciousness. He noticed that the bed he was in was more comfortable than his bed in the Slytherin dorm. He cautiously opened his eyes and looked around. He was surprised to find himself in a private room in what looked to be a hospital of some sort. He sat up.

Suddenly, the door opened and a man in green robes came in. "Ah, you're awake! Very good. Do you know where you are?"

Harry considered that. "Er. Hospital?"

The man nodded. "Quite right. You were brought to St. Mungos two hours ago by the Headmaster. He will return shortly to speak with you."

Harry was confused. "Why St. Mungos? Hogwarts has a hospital wing."

The man shrugged. "I don't know. I'm Healer Davenport. You've provided quite the conundrum to us."

He looked curiously at the mediwizard. "How's that?"

"For some reason, normal diagnostic charms don't seem to work on you. It's a good thing that we've got people specialized in obscure charms – you've got a few things you need taken care of."

The next half an hour was spent going over exactly what was found and exactly what would need to happen: He'd be in the hospital for a week.

After all the information was given, Harry was left alone in the room. Suddenly, he heard a knock.

"Come in?" he called out tentatively.

Into the door walked the Headmaster in all of his multicolored glory. "Mr. Potter! How are you doing?"

Harry's immediate withdrawal into himself made the Headmaster sigh to himself. It was obvious that there were a number of trust issues taking place.

"I'm fine. Why am I in St. Mungos and not the Hospital wing? Not that I'm too upset, mind you – it's just curious." Albus was slightly pleased that Harry was honest enough to admit that.

Albus sat down in the chair next to the bed and replied, "I find myself perplexed, Mr. Potter – and I need your help."

* * *

Madam Bones was irritable. It was 5:00 on a Saturday morning. "You want my trainee for what?"

"I am in need of a body double for one week. Someone to be seen at meals and in staff meetings. Young Nymphadora has – on occasion – been guilty of taking my form for a prank on her housemates. So I know she is capable."

"Where will you be?" she asked curiously. So he explained.

Amelia Bones was wide-eyed when he finished talking. "All of this to help one student?"

The Headmaster shook his head. "No. All of this to root out a systemic problem that must be confronted and dealt with. As it falls within my scope of authority, I must deal with it myself. I am tired of it – and I will see it ended."

Amelia considered the proposal. Finally she said, "I'll allow it – but any students who are of age whose actions constitute a crime will be reported to me as the Director of the DMLE. For too long we've been completely powerless to do anything about even the worst attacks. I understand that traditions says it stays within your authority – but if we are to change the culture as much as you think is necessary, there has to be a line."

Albus considered that. Finally he nodded. "I will allow it on a case by case basis this year. For the future, we will have to alert the Board of Governors that we are planning on a change in policy. It's always been my contention that we could handle it, but Mr. Potter's story indicates that we allow too much."

* * *

It had taken until 8:30 AM on Saturday morning before the final steps could be taken. He had told no one of his plan except for Severus Snape – whom had given an oath to keep it to himself. Severus had been remarkably sanguine about the plan. It had taken two hours for Harry to give him sufficient information to pull it off.

He had also, just now, set the Hogwarts wards to show him as "Harry Potter" – the result of a comment overheard by Harry from two twins in Gryffindor. Nymphadora Tonks had been set as "Albus Dumbledore" by the wards. Hogwarts _felt_ amused at what was happening – and somewhat satisfied.

Albus considered the potion he held. Its color was truly significant – and utterly astounding.

* * *

Severus Snape had an almost amused look as he explained to his Snakes that Potter's bed would be warded and that waking him would require one to knock on the panel. Luckily, there were enough students who had paranoid families that this wasn't considered overly odd.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore sat upon his golden throne on the Sunday immediately following his investigation. He had reached surprise by Day One. Shock by Day Two. Utter disappointment by Day Three. By Day Seven, he had reached a towering rage.

Only Severus Snape's competent management of inter-house issues and the utter support he received from the first year Slytherins, as well as most of the older students, had prevented him from ending the experiment early and going on a rampage.

He was only waiting for a few visitors before acting.

* * *

Deputy Headmistress McGonagall was feeling quite nervous for some reason. The past week, Albus had been called away often, only attending a few meals here and there, thus requiring her to deal with a number of issues.

However, earlier today, he had curtly ordered that every student be required to attend the evening meal and be within the hall at 6:45. It was a decidedly odd time request – only the feasts normally had such a requirement, or when there would be momentous announcements. And usually such announcements happened at the beginning of the meal.

This time, she had been directed to tell the students that the reason for the mandatory attendance would be given toward the end of the hour. And then Albus had almost defiantly refused to engage in conversation with any other staff member during the meal.

The staff had all finally noticed – and they all appeared almost as nervous as she felt. She did notice one absence.

"Headmaster. You said that all students were required to attend. I notice that Mr. Potter isn't present."

The Headmaster didn't even turn toward her as he replied – almost emotionlessly – that he knew where Mr. Potter was and that all would soon be revealed.

She glanced at Severus, noting that he didn't seem worried in the least.

Finally, at 6:45, the Headmaster curtly motioned her to get the students' attention.

She stood and struck her goblet with a deliberate pace until every student was quiet and all were focused on her. "The Headmaster will now speak with you all. I expect you to give him your undivided attention."

The Headmaster stood and moved to the lectern.

A number of Slytherin students were watching the teachers' table with a calculating look. The Headmaster – regardless of his muggle-loving tendencies – was a figure of great power. Most were shocked when he looked their way, not with the normal neutrality or jovial mask he was known for but with a faint look of approval – only noticeable if one has been trained as Slytherins were trained.

It was only noticeable to the students because it was in contrast with the slightly less approving looks he was giving the other three tables. A number of the House of the Cunning took note of this. It made them only a bit nervous.

The Headmaster looked over the hall at the students. "I have a few announcements to make which involved some slight change in policies. Before I get to these announcements, one of your number and a few guests will be joining us."

He took his wand out and opened the doors at the far end of the hall. In walked Harry Potter, with a blank expression on his face. Next to him walked Amelia Bones, who was scowling slightly. Following her were two Aurors. The group moved until they stood in front of the Headmaster.

"Mr. Potter. Do you know why you are here?"

With very little hesitation, Harry answered. "Yes, Sir."

"We shall get to the truth of the matter now." He turned and looked at the person on the far end of the staff table. "Professor Sinastra. How many detentions did you assign to Mr. Potter in the last week?"

"1, Headmaster."

"And how many points did you take from him?"

"30."

"And why?"

"He was fighting in the hall with students from another house."

The Headmaster nodded. He continued down the line. Some professors hadn't assigned any punishments. But the majority of the professors who taught the first years had taken points, given detentions, or both.

The Gryffindors were feeling quite smug. The little slimy Dark Lord in training was getting his, and they were proud that they had had a hand in it. Many at the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables were feeling rather similar.

The House of Snakes was feeling quite angry. Only the calm look that their Head of House held kept them from protesting. That and the fact that Potter was keeping his cool. They were actually quite proud of that fact. Many might not like him – but he was a Slytherin and he acted like one.

The Headmaster nodded at the last person at the table – Rubeus Hagrid – who had not interacted with Harry Potter at all that week.

He then turned to the audience. "I would like every student who was attacked by Mr. Potter this week or who had an altercation with him to stand up."

At the Ravenclaw table, seven students stood. Hufflepuff had only four. Gryffindor, however, had a full twenty three students stand up, many looking quite pleased.

The Headmaster looked out and saw that there were a few missed. "Mr. Woolsworth. Did you not have an altercation with Mr. Potter on Thursday last?" he asked a seventh year Gryffindor.

The student in question nodded and stood up. "I thought that there were enough accusers already."

"I see." He paused. "Anyone else? I want to see ALL students who had an altercation."

There were a few more that stood.

"I see." He turned toward Harry. Out of his pocket he pulled a clear flask. "Mr. Potter. Do you know what this potion is?"

Harry Potter saw the flask – and knew exactly what it was. Its golden color was quite distinctive. "Yes, Sir."

The Headmaster looked out toward the students again, the standing ones as well as the sitting ones. "Does anyone else?"

There were several murmurings but no one volunteered.

He pulled another flask out. "How about this one?"

Percy Weasley raised his hand and the Headmaster nodded toward him. "That's Polyjuice potion, Headmaster."

"Yes it is." The Headmaster pulled out a hair and, taking the cap off the new flask, dropped the hair in. The whole of Hogwarts was amazed when the sludgy-looking Polyjuice potion changed to match the other one: It was a deep, rich golden color with none of the horrible look of Polyjuice.

"Professor Snape. How rare is it that Polyjuice potion will turn this color?"

The Potions Professor was, in fact, a bit awed. "Almost unheard of, Headmaster."

"And what would cause this?"

"A complete lack of the taint of Dark magic. Almost certainly a child, perhaps one child in two thousand. One adult in perhaps 50,000 would have the same result."

The Headmaster nodded. There were looks of interest – and confusion – all around. "Yes." He put the flask down. "Now, back to it. Mr. Potter, according to these Professors and these students, you have had eleven detentions assigned to you and have lost one hundred and twenty points. Do you agree with these punishments?"

"No, Sir."

"And why is that?"

"I wasn't here, Sir."

There were many more sounds of confusion in the Hall.

"Where were you, Mr. Potter?"

"I was at St. Mungos, being treated for spell damage and a few long-term health problems."

The Headmaster looked over and saw a look of shock on a number of faces. Madam Pomfrey had a look of consternation. "According to Madam Pomphrey, you have been given detentions for faking injuries. How is this possible?"

Harry looked at the school's healer with some disdain. "I had a magical block which prevented standard diagnostic spells from reading me. If a healer didn't actually look at the bruises and only performed a spell, they'd never find the injuries."

The Hogwarts healer was giving the student at the center of everyone's attention a look of horror.

"Who knew that you were in St. Mungos?"

"Madam Bones, Auror Tonks, Professor Snape, you, and a few healers and mediwizards and mediwitches."

The Headmaster nodded. The entire staff – sans Severus Snape – were now sharing the sick feeling that Madam Pomphrey had shown.

"Very well. If you were in St. Mungos, how was it you were available to receive detentions last week?"

"Because someone took my place, using the Polyjuice you showed us." There were a few murmurs of surprise.

The Headmaster nodded

"And who, exactly, took your place?"

"You did, Headmaster."

The sudden cacophony of horror among three of the four tables was now very loud. A number of the students who had been standing tried to sit down. Until the Headmaster performed a concussive hex.

Professor Dumbledore's voice roared out. "**Did I tell you that you were allowed to sit down?"** The Headmaster visibly tried to calm down. "You stood up in **accusation**. You will now **answer** for it."

The students who were standing all had sick looks on their face as the contemplated the Headmaster. The Weasley twins were feeling horror at the Howler their mother would send. Ron Weasley was feeling the same. A couple of seventh years were feeling particularly nauseous.

He looked over at the Gryffindor table. "Mr. Woolsworth, Mr. Davenport. You are both of age. The curses you sent at who you thought was Mr. Potter were particularly vile – and illegal. The Aurors present will now take you to the Ministry where you will answer for your actions."

The entire student body – including the Slytherins – were feeling a bit of shock. In all of their time at Hogwarts, NOBODY had ever been turned over to the DMLE – regardless of the severity of any altercation. It was ALWAYS handled within Hogwarts. For two students to be taken away by Aurors for schoolyard actions signaled a very deep fear – especially in those that had occasionally been involved in such actions.

When the Aurors had left (Madam Bones had stayed), everyone looked back to the Headmaster. The look he was giving them was not very cordial.

"Mr. Potter. All detentions you have received are now reversed. All points taken are returned. Please sit down at your house table."

Harry quietly moved and sat down next to Draco Malfoy, who was watching the current goings-on with wide eyes.

The Headmaster looked at the students standing. "Every student who 'was attacked by Mr. Potter' was, in fact, the instigator of the altercation. I can say such quite confidently, considering that I was the one actually attacked. For each spell below OWL level sent toward Mr. Potter, the offending student loses ten points. For every spell or potion OWL level, fifteen points. For every NEWT level spell or potion, twenty five points. For any student who loses more than twenty points, a detention will be assigned with Mr. Filch or Mr. Snape for every ten points. Do not try to avoid them: I will be watching. You may now sit down."

He looked over at the counters. Slytherins counter had suddenly shot way up: Harry Potter had lost many, many points, none of them deserved.

Hufflepuff lost a few. Ravenclaw more. Gryffindor, however, was now below zero – and would likely not move to zero that year.

The Headmaster looked over at Slytherin. "Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Nott, Mr. Flint. You shall each receive twenty points for grace under fire. Each of you aided who you thought to be a housemate and kept your cool doing so. Mr. Malfoy. An additional thirty points. You took a punishments and spells in protecting your housemate."

Slytherin House looked quite pleased at the recognition.

The Headmaster did award a few more points to a number of students from a number of houses who had attempted to stop the altercations.

The prefects for Gryffindor were put on probation – and were told that the only reason they weren't losing their badges was that the other students available were just as bad.

Finally the Headmaster looked out. "You all call Slytherin the House of Dark Wizards. You say they are born to be dark lords. A boy who was sorted into Slytherin went from being a hero to a dark lord – and he did nothing to any of you. Other than wear green and silver - counter to your expectations.

"Dark Wizards are not born. They are made. And who makes them? We all do. You treat your fellow students poorly, attack them, tell them they are worthless and evil. And you are surprised and angry when they retaliate?" He looked at Gryffindor. "Which is the House of Dark Wizards now?" He looked at Hufflepuff. "And which the House of the Loyal?" He looked at Ravenclaw. "And the House of Wit?"

He turned toward the staff. "And who encourages them to act in such a way?"

He turned back. "It is now 7:15. I shall be meeting with the staff. At 8:30 tonight, each House will have a House meeting. The Heads of House will review with you your House's actions and what is expected. You are all dismissed to your Houses. That is all."

It was very quiet as the Great Hall cleared.

* * *

At 8:30, Severus Snape called his House to attention. The common area had been expanded so that all Slytherins could be in it simultaneously (a magic built in to each common room).

He looked out at the jubilant faces of his snakes. He needed to get control before things got out of hand. "Before we begin, does anyone have any comments?"

A number of wands were raised, their tips glowing (no self-respecting Slytherin would do something so _common_ as to raise their wandless hand).

He looked at the students volunteering and noted one in particular. "Mr. Potter?" He stood up from his position near the back. As he stood, a number of Slytherins began applauding. It took a moment for Professor Snape to get control again. "Go ahead."

Harry looked out. "We have to be careful now."

There were sounds of disgust and protest. One fifth-year called out that he was trying to undermine Slytherin. Snape quickly stopped them from continuing.

"That's what I'm talking about. You act superior to the other houses because you feel slighted. Well, I was lucky. Many of us don't like Dumbledore – but who took the other houses to task for their bullying? If we go out and lord it over them, they'll feel resentful."

He paused and looked down. He then looked up and continued, slightly more confident. "I grew up with a cousin who was encouraged to lord everything over me. My muggle relatives encouraged him and penalized me when I did better than him. If he turned into a saint tomorrow, I'd probably still never want to see him again. Because I've been treated badly by him far too long."

He looked around. "You want to prove yourself superior? Then BE superior. You did a good job this week. The Headmaster proved that by giving a number of you points." He turned toward Draco. "Draco, don't even mention your father. Everyone knows who he is. You don't need to say it – it only makes you look weak to hide behind his power." He looked back toward the rest. "A lot of you do the same thing – insult the muggleborns for not growing up with magic. You want to prove your culture? Prove your nobility? Then BE noble. BE cultured.

"If you want tonight to backlash against us, then rile up the other Houses. We're not five years old. Calling out na-na-na-na-na-na won't make the other houses feel weak – it'll make them feel resentful. Be generous in victory. Be courteous in defeat. Don't smile at someone to stab them in the back. Smile at them when you help pull the dagger from their back. They'll love you far more."

He sat down and looked back to his head of house. Severus Snape contemplated what Harry Potter had said and then looked to the others. "It is apparant that Mr. Potter's sorting into Slytherin was well-deserved."


	11. Using Tonks 01: First Year

A/N: As mentioned by a reviewer from my last bunny (Slytherin66), Tonks' talents were wasted in the Harry Potter books. Here was a person who could take anyone's place for the purpose of investigation and to collect evidence, and no one used her talents.

So, I thought: How could these talents have been used in various circumstances – and how would it have started? I won't give the whole story – just the beginning. These are little bunnies - not full grown rabbits.

As a side note, Rowling had the horrible habit of creating just the right "magical spell," "magical device," "magical technique," or whatever to answer why something was happening but left them critically unused in other places where it would have been appropriate. It usually made Dumbledore look like a bastard. For example, why the hell wouldn't he have flooed to the Ministry in the first book? I think that she hadn't envisioned that technique when the book was written. So it looks like Dumbledore deliberately didn't use the floo during the confrontation. And so it looks bad for him.

If JK Rowling wanted to create the image of a "powerful good wizard who was slightly manipulative" (a tradition in fantasy and sci-fi since Gandalf and Obi-Wan) she should have done better planning.

* * *

Tonks Bunny: First year

Amelia Bones, recently promoted to the position of Director of the DMLE, had spent a good amount of time reviewing the files for the most recent crop of Auror trainees. She had long desired the job she now had and she wanted to implement additional training methods. The fist pile was ready for her first meeting.

Amelia knocked on the door of the witch she needed to meet with. The occupant looked up and smiled. "Madam Bones! Welcome. What can I do for you today?"

"Come now, _Madam Longbottom_. We've known each other too long to be too formal with each other."

The stern older woman gave a tight smile. "Yes. But tradition is important."

Amelia smiled: The perfect in. "Yes. Which is why I am meeting with you. I have a number of trainees that grew up in different circumstances who are unfamiliar with official etiquette. While they cover it during training, I thought that having them intern with your Wizengamot office on a rotational basis might serve them in good stead in learning proper traditional usages. I could have picked a number of other Wizengamot members – but _some_ I am leery of approaching for such training." That such included former "imperius victims" was unstated but implied.

Augusta considered that. "I can agree with that. What are the names?"

After the first successful meeting, Amelia was feeling much better. She had also put some trainees in the Wizengamot Administrative offices to experience dealing with bureaucracy as well as the Auror offices dealing with prosecution.

She was now reviewing the next file. This was an interesting one. She made a floo call.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore was working on a portion of the massive amounts of paperwork that he often had to deal with. Suddenly he heard a voice. "Headmaster Dumbledore?"

He looked over at the floo and saw a face in the fire. "Madam Bones! How can I help you?"

"Can I come over?"

Very soon, the two were deep in discussion. The Headmaster was stroking his beard as he contemplated the proposal. "So, you wish to have an Auror trainees intern under myself as Headmaster. Specifically learning Infiltration and Investigation. Why Hogwarts? Why not other offices in the Ministry?"

"Oh, I'm doing that as well. I'm certain you're aware of the budgetary constraints that some of the new Minister's _advisors_ are pushing. As the new DMLE Director, I feel it necessary to ensure Aurors are properly trained – no matter where they are. I remembered that you mentioned in the past the need for additional time to investigate Hogwarts issues. I'm proposing allowing trainees to work under your authority to help infiltrate and investigate. Polyjuice, glamours, etc. One trainee is a metamorphmagus."

"Ah, yes: Young Nymphadora. Well, it might be an interesting exercise. Let me get back to you."

In the end, Albus Dumbledore approved the idea.

* * *

McGonagall stood up and tapped her glass until all the students were paying attention. She then nodded at the Headmaster and sat down.

The Headmaster looked over the students and smiled with congeniality. "As Headmaster, it is incumbent upon me to ensure that your education is conducted properly and in a safe environment. It has been brought to my attention recently that I have not paid enough attention to the goings on within Hogwarts. Whether that is true or not, I have decided to implement a new reporting system."

He waved his wand over to the side of the hall. The students now noticed a locked box with a slot in it. "This box, as well as four more contained within each common room, will now be available for students to report their concerns to myself. This is not a report to your Heads of House or other staff – but myself alone. Any comments or concerns will be reviewed and dealt with under my personal authority. Let me be perfectly clear. Any comment made a put within these boxes will not engender any punishment or discipline. The purpose of this system is so that I can conduct investigations on common problems that you are encountering. If you are having major issues at home, if you are having problems with a particular staff member, if you are having problems with a particular student – any issue which is negatively affecting your ability to study, I will make an effort to investigate honestly and rectify. These boxes will be emptied and reviewed on a regular basis. Your anonymity, if you desire it, will be maintained."

He nodded at the four tables and said, "That is all. Have a good evening."

* * *

A week later, the Headmaster sat within his private study. Two Auror trainees were sitting with him.

"Very well. I have had the house elves retrieve the contents of the boxes. How do you suggest we go forward?" He looked at both trainees.

Auror Tonks and Auror Peasgood looked at each other and then back to the Headmaster. Auror Peasgood had the fist suggestion. "Well, I would say that first we should separate them into particular categories: One pile for House issues, one for issues with instruction, one for issues with other students, one for home problems. We can separate them further afterwards."

The Headmaster looked over at Auror Tonks, who looked agreeable. They decided to move forward.

After sorting through the pile, a pattern was emerging. By far the largest group of piles were having to do with three particular Professors: Binns, Snape, Quirrell.

Binns' pile contained complaints that the students could not maintain consciousness. The Headmaster sighed. "This one will take coordination with the Board of Governors. We will have to see what it would take to get a new Professor."

Quirrell's pile contained complaints that he was not understandable. Auror Peasgood had a suggestion. "Why don't you send him to Madam Pomfrey and ask her to find out if he needs a mind healer? You said he came back changed from a traumatic incidident, yeah?"

The Headmaster considered that. "I will speak to him personally and suggest it. I don't want to push too hard – Defense Professors have been difficult to retain." The two Aurors, Hogwarts graduates both of them, chuckled ruefully. "But we shall make an effort."

The last pile was the largest. Dumbledore became more and more serious as the complaints were reviewed. Finally he sighed wearily and sat back. "It is obvious that I have failed to curb improper behaviour toward students." He looked at the two Aurors. "What would you two suggest as a valid investigational method?"

The two Auror trainees spoke with each other and then addressed the Headmaster. "While neither one of us likes the Potions Master, we have to be objective and actually investigate based on what's seen and not what we think," Auror Peasgood started.

Tonks nodded. "Right. I think we have to go undercover in a minimum of two classes. Each of us will take the place of a student and attend as that student. After, we will put together a report and submit memories. One will have to be in the room as backup under an invisibility cloak if at all possible. The other will be the picked student. Part of the exercise will be getting the invisible one inside."

Peasgood nodded. "We take the worst cases and start with those."

Dumbledore considered this and nodded. "Which are the two most egregious?"

The two Aurors rifled through the stack. Peasgood was hesitant but made his report. "We have four in one class who reported abuse toward two students in particular. Those students haven't complained – but those that are the subject of abuse normally don't."

"Which are the two students?"

Tonks and Peasgood looked at each other and then Tonks nodded that she'd take it. "Neville Longbottom … and Harry Potter."

Albus felt a headache coming on.


	12. Using Tonks 02: Gringotts Problems

A/N: No, I'm not prepared to start a long story – until I have worked on and completed a few of the other ones I have going. These are just plot bunnies that I'd like to see – but possible could be written by someone.

This is another Tonks Bunny: Harry is a little bit smarter than the fifth-year emo found in canon. Honestly, her part is so small it's silly. But she does show up.

Tonks Bunny: Fifth Year

**He let out a gasp of pain. The words had appeared on the parchment in what appeared to be shining red ink. At the same time, the words had appeared on the back of Harry's right hand, cut into his skin as though traced there by a scalpel - yet even as he stared at the shining cut, the skin healed over again, leaving the place where it had been slightly redder than before but quite smooth.**

** Harry looked round at Umbridge. She was watching him, her wide, toadlike mouth stretched in a smile.**

** 'Yes?'**

** 'Nothing,' said Harry quietly.**

** He looked back at the parchment, placed the quill on it once more, wrote I must not tell lies, and felt the searing pain on the back of his hand for a second time; once again, the words had been cut into his skin; once again, they healed over seconds later.**

…

**'At least it's only lines,' said Hermione consolingly, as Harry sank back on to his bench and looked down at his steak and kidney pie, which he no longer fancied very much. 'It's not as it it's a dreadful punishment, really . . .'**

**Harry opened his mouth, closed it again and nodded. He was not really sure why he was not telling Ron and Hermione exactly what was happening in Umbridge's room: he only knew that he did not want to see their looks of horror; that would make the whole thing seem worse and therefore more difficult to face. He also felt dimly that this was between himself and Umbridge, a private battle of wills, and he was not going to give her the satisfaction of hearing that he had complained about it.**

Harry abruptly brought himself up shortly in what he was thinking. Why did he have to suffer silently? Was there some moral victory to be brought by just suffering the pain of the blood quill? Was it even legal?

Harry was getting quite tired of just grinning and bearing it. Finally he interrupted Ron, who was starting to moan about homework.

"I don't know about that, Hermione. She's making me write lines in my own blood."

Hermione looked at Harry in horror. "What?" Ron's eyes had also gone wide.

"There's this weird quill. She makes me write 'I will not tell lies' over and over but instead of using ink, the quill scratches it in my hand." He showed her the back of his hand.

Hermione looked at the scratches Harry was talking about and said, "You have to tell someone!"

Bitterly, Harry replied, "Who? Just who will listen to me? I don't even know if there's anything wrong with it."

Ron interjected. "You wouldn't know. You didn't grow up in the Wizarding world. That's a blood quill. Their used in Gringotts to sign contracts. Bill told us about those one time – they used to make unbreakable contracts. I've never heard of them being used anywhere else."

Harry looked over at Ron. "You think it's even legal for her to make me use them?"

Ron shrugged. Hermione also looked hesitant – she didn't know either.

"So, who should I tell?"

Ron hesitantly said, "Well, I could ask my dad …."

Harry violently shook his head. "If he talks about it where one of Fudge's toadies might make hear him talk about it. OR what if he tells your mum? Could you imagine what she'd do?"

Ron and Hermione both shuddered. Mrs. Weasley didn't know the meaning of the words "tact" or "circumspect" – it would be disaster.

Hermione volunteered, "Maybe you can tell the Headmaster?"

Harry shook his head again. "First, he's been losing influence at the Ministry too. And he's been avoiding me."

Hermione protested, "I'm certain he hasn't been avoiding you!"

Harry gave Hermione a withering look. "He hasn't said one word directly to me since the end of last year. He hasn't looked me in the eyes once. How isn't that avoiding me?"

Hermione helplessly shrugged.

Harry looked over to Ron. "Can we write to Bill? Would he know?"

Ron considered that. "Yeah. That might work."

* * *

Bill Weasley sat within his current office at Gringotts Bank, reading the letter his youngest brother had sent. He was horrified to read the description of what Harry was going through. He even showed it to his "friend" Fluer – he was working toward that being more.

Fleur cursed in French when she read the description. "No! Zat cannot be right!" She made a few more curses in French.

Suddenly the door opened and the goblin in charge of their section came in. "What is all of this racket? I know you humans have to have meal times but you're disturbing the nearby offices."

Bill nodded at Slipknife. "We're sorry. My brother wrote me a letter which contains something objectionable. He thought my experience with Gringotts would help him."

Slipknife was curious. He didn't care about the humans – but if it involved Gringotts expertise …. "What was objectionable?"

Bill sighed. "A professor installed by the Ministry of Magic," Slipknife sneered at that – they didn't respect the Ministry at all, "is punishing another student by making him write lines using a contract quill."

Slipknife stilled for a moment and then held out his hand. "The letter, please." He wasn't asking and Bill knew it. Bill handed the letter over without hesitation.

Slipknife quickly perused the letter. He looked at Bill. "Tell your young clan-member that you are investigating the legalities of it. I am taking this matter to the legal department for review. Tell no one that we are reviewing this."

"Of course, Accountant Slipknife. If there's anything you need me to do, just tell me." Bill didn't make the mistake of using human honorifics. To a goblin, their name and title was honor enough.

Fleur nodded in support of Bill's agreement.

* * *

Dirk Cresswell and Amelia Bones made their way into Gringotts to answer an urgent request from Gringotts' Legal Department. Cresswell was part of the Goblins Liason Office and Madam Bones was the DMLE Director. Both were involved.

The two were quickly brought to Solicitor Bloodnose.

"We have received a report that a Ministry appointee is possibly violating the Treaty of 1798." The Treaty of 1798 was the treaty which defined what fell within the purview of Gringotts and what fell within the purview of the Ministry of Magic.

Dirk Cresswell was taken aback. "What was the possible violation brought to your attention?"

Solicitor Bloodnose took out the letter received and the step-by-step progression as to how it came to light.

"Gringotts demands that this be investigated and, if verified, the witch prosecuted. We already have issues due to the Bagman problem. It would be inconvenient if we had to have the Treaty of 1798 held in abeyance due to the actions of one your number."

* * *

Madam Bones was meeting with Minerva McGonagall in the Three Broomsticks. "I've got the goblins up in arms and I need your help."

Professor McGonagall was curious. "What help could you possible need from me?"

Amelia looked at the Professor to gauge her reaction. "We have reports that one of the Professors is punishing students using a blood quill."

Professor McGonagall's face too on a pasty-white hue. "I hace no idea what you are talking about!" And Madam Bones took that as the truth.

She nodded and then looked at her notes. "Is it true that a Mr. Harry Potter has been receiving detentions from Dolores Umbridge?"

"Yes." The Deputy Headmistress was sounding quite uncertain. "She had assigned him detentions every night for almost two weeks."

"Did he come to you regarding these detentions?"

Minerva's face became even paler. "He tried to a week ago … I told him to keep his head down and not provoke her. She has too much power to be controlled at Hogwarts."

Amelia looked sharply at Minerva. "Damnit, Minerva! How could you allow it?"

Minerva McGonagall sighed. "We have been under attack since the end of last year from the Ministry. The Minister chooses to disbelieve Mr. Potter and Albus – we had no choice in taking Umbridge as a professor. We were told we had no options."

After another thirty minutes it was decided how the investigation would move forward.

* * *

The Deputy Headmistress sent a note using a first year to Harry Potter. She turned to Dolores, who was sitting nearby at the meal. "I will need to speak to Mr. Potter after the meal which means he will bot be available for detentions for approximately thirty minutes."

Madam Umbridge gave the Deputy Headmistress a malicious look. "I find that unacceptable! What do you need to speak to Potter about?"

Minerva gave the woman her most withering look. "Mr. Potter is a member of my house: Gryffindor. I am its head. The business of my House does not fall within your authority."

Dolores fumed. She knew exactly who she would be targeting as soon as the new decree giving her increased authority came. "Fine. Tell him that he will need to do an additional hour of detention to make up for it!" She threw here napkin down and stormed out of the Great Hall.

McGonagall watched her go with a sour look on her face.

* * *

Professor Umbridge fumed silently. Finally, at 7:30, a knock was heard. She called, "Come in!"

In walked the attention-seeking troublemaker. "Mr. Potter! Seeing as how our time was interrupted, I hope you were informed that I will require an additional hour of lines."

"Yes, Professor."

She sat him down and handed him the quill. "Remember, 'I must not tell lies.' We will make the lesson sink in." She gave him a vicious smirk.

The halfblood started but paused after a moment. "How many times will I have to write it?"

Professor Umbridge took on her most vicious look. "You will continue to write lines until I feel the lesson has been learned. You will learn not to question authority! If you stop again, it will be another eight hours! Begin now!"

The boy sighed and then replied, "I'm afraid I can't do that." The boy stood and pulled out a wand. Suddenly, the boy's face changed and Harry Potter was no longer in front of her. Instead it was the Auror which she often tried to get sacked because she was a half-blood.

"Upon the Authority of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, I am hereby placing you under arrest for violation of the Gringotts-Ministry treaty of 1798 and the improper use of a Class-L Blood-magic device. Drop your wand on the table and move back from the desk."

Dolores Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic and Hogwarts' assigned Defense Against the Dark Arts professor had to be stunned and restrained before the incident was completed.


	13. A Ministry Approved Curiculum

A Ministry Approved Education: A small idea I had thinking about Umbridge and her teaching in Harry's fifth year. I REALLY would like to see someone write a full fic - dramatic possibly but preferably in the humor catagory - centered around this idea. I don't think anyone ever used this most obvious bunny.

* * *

Harry watched as Umbridge greeted the Examiners. Unlike almost everyone else that Umbridge dealth with, she was almost submissive toward their scrutiny. Suddenly, he got an idea. He turned to Hermione. "Hermione? Can you get the most trusted DA members from each House to meet with me in the Room tonight immediately after dinner? Preferably one from seventh year and one from fifth. I have a plan."

Hermione was nervous. Harry's plans were often poorly thought out. He made up for that by his excellent improvisation. But, she trusted him. So she agreed.

After dinner, Harry made his way to the Room of Requirement. Very soon, six other students arrived. Hermione had chosen herself and Alicia for Gryffindor. The Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were as well known in their own house.

Checking the map to ensure that none were followed, Harry soon greeted the students.

He took a good thirty minutes to explain his plan to the students. Actually – it took two minutes to explain. The rest of the time was convincing them. Finally, they all agreed to try. They'd give Hermione the signal tomorrow if they were successful. If the Houses other than Slytherin all agreed – they would go ahead.

* * *

Breakfast the next morning was tense. Each House was waiting for the signal. Their chosen representatives gave it. Harry, as agreed, signaled his own House. There were many nods of acceptance being passed around.

Umbridge was suspicious – but there was nothing obvious.

The first days of the examinations were quite interesting. Most were doing well. It was Thursday, the day of the Defense Exams where things became interesting.

The students all agreed to answer all the questions exactly as Harry suggested. They were all obviously nervous. At the end of the exam, they were collected. Immediately after dinner Umbridge realized the exact problem she was facing.

A voice was raised in protest – all the waiting students heard. "I don't know what you mean! I just gave you the Ministry-approved method that Professor Umbridge told us. Professor – tell them that they're doing it wrong!"

It took a few minutes for the commotion to settle down. Umbridge tried to shut the students up – but she had no control over the examiners and what they tested.

Harry was asked to perform the Patronus Charm and he also did well on the spells from first through fourth year. When the examiner asked for a fifth-year spell, Harry explained that he was taught that he didn't need to know how to do that magic. If he was being attacked, he was to call an Auror and wait for them to arrive.

The examiners had faced this explanation a number of times already and just accepted it.

As Harry walked out of the examination room, he grinned as he looked at Professor Umbridge. He remembered the explanation of the plan.

Flashback

_"Did anyone see how Umbridge was acting toward the examiners?"_

_All agreed that it was obvious that she wanted to impress them._

_"I say that we help her to impress the examiners with what she had taught us this year."_

_Alicia was dubious. "She really didn't teach us anything. Everything I learned in for Defense I learned in other years or from you."_

_Harry tutted. "Certainly she taught us something. She taught us that we aren't to do magic – we are supposed to report the problem to the Ministry and wait for the Aurors."_

_Susan scoffed. "You know that doesn't work. My Aunt is the head of the DMLE and she always told me that the best way to protect yourself is to do it yourself."_

_Harry sighed and then said patiently, "I know. However, that ISN'T the Ministry approved curriculum we were given this year. I think that we should give the examiners exactly what we were taught. If we learned it before Umbridge came here – do the best you can. But if we were supposed to be taught it this year – tell the examiners exactly what you were taught to do. I'm sure they'll be impressed."_

End of Flashback

The Daily Prophet the next day reported on the blowup of the Examiners when they stormed into the Ministry to confront Cornelius Fudge on what his hand-picked Professor had done to the students of Hogwarts.

Professor Umbridge didn't finish the day as Headmistress.


	14. Don't Want to Talk About It, CHALLANGE

A/N: This one is totally tragic. If you don't want to be completely bummed, don't read this. It's absurd ala one of my older Harry Potter Bunnies – "The Boy Who Didn't Know." But given a more emotionally damaged Harry, more vindictive Durselys, and a more vitriolic Snape and maybe …

* * *

Hagrid was flummoxed. When he tried to tell Harry about his parents, the boy refused to hear anything about them. He had been told by the Dursleys how they died and it was a sore point.

He sighed. He didn't have much more to talk to Harry about other than his parents.

It was much worse the next day. When several patrons of the Leaky Cauldron tried to greet him too enthusiastically, Harry broke down and ran out of the pub. It took an hour and a promise that Hagrid would have Tom keep everyone away before he would re-enter.

Conversation was very stilted through the whole trip. Finally, Hagrid agreed to not mention his parents and the conversation was somewhat more friendly.

When Harry was getting his wand, Draco Malfoy had entered with his parents and he hustled him out before Ollivander could talk more about his wand.

* * *

Harry had finally gotten onto the platform by watching for anyone who had Hogwarts supplies and following them. He was over an hour early. He got all of his things inside and took out one of his course books.

Several people tried to talk to him but he resolutely refused to talk further as soon as anyone said "Boy-Who-Lived" or mentioned his parents. Finally, even Ron Weasley, the socially retarded redhead, got the point.

* * *

Harry was tired of the talking and the stares and the pointing. He just wanted to go to class and study. Even though he had been put into Gryffindor, he didn't feel particularly brave.

The worst was Friday. When he had gotten into Potions class, the teacher had singled him out and called him a "celebrity." He didn't know why his parents dying and him surviving made him a celebrity, but the Potions professor took great joy in making fun of his lack of knowledge despite his "celebrity status." It was so bad, he went to his Head of House.

As soon as he started talking, his hopes were dashed. As soon as he said "Professor Snape," McGonagall stopped him and said, "I'm sorry Mr. Potter. But I have no control over how the other Professors run their classes. I can try to have the Headmaster look into it, but he has made it clear that I have no authority over Professor Snape's actions."

Harry looked at her in horror. Without saying a word, he turned around and left.

Minerva McGonagall sighed. The Headmaster had been adamant that Harry Potter must learn to deal with adversity. She had tried to get him to control Snape after several comments, but the Headmaster had only twinkled and given her his instructions.

She really didn't like this at all.

* * *

Harry had had enough. He thought that people would just get over whatever they had going about him, but the stares and whispers kept getting worse. Snape was horrible and no one would stop him. Finally, he made a decision.

* * *

Ron Weasley was eating his breakfast. He had almost missed it because Harry Potter had locked himself in the bathroom. Finally, Ron decided he couldn't wait and he'd have to do without a shower.

He looked around. Harry had better hurry – they had potions and he couldn't imagine how horrible Snape would be if Harry was late.

Finally, he went to potions feeling very nervous.

After the class started, Snape immediately picked up on Harry not being there. When he asked (angrily) where the boy was, Ron finally admitted that he had been in the dorms but hadn't come down to breakfast.

Snape looked thunderous. "The boy thinks that he can skiv off? His celebrity status makes it alright to miss? We shall see!" Snape rushed out of the room to find the Deputy Headmistress.

* * *

Minerva McGonagall and Severus Snape entered the first year dorm. Minerva was upset. Snape was furious. They looked around and found no Harry Potter, but did find the locked door that Ron Weasley mentioned.

Knocking produced no result. Finally, the Head of House used her authority with the castle to enforce the door opening.

The two entered to find a horrible sight. Minerva cried in horror and Snape went bone-white. Harry Potter was in a shower stall. There was a pool of blood but obviously most had gone down the drain. He was obviously dead.

At the entrance of the stall was a parchment. On one side was a Potions essay marked with a red "D" for dreadful. The other side, however, was a note scrawled in the handwriting of Harry Potter.

* * *

_I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused._

_I've tried to deal with the talking and the whispering and the things that Professor Snape says, but it's too much._

_I tried to go to McGonagall but she said she couldn't do anything._

_I'm sorry my father was so horrible and that Snape has to keep bringing it up. I didn't ask to be born to a drunk father and a whore of a mother. Ever since my relatives told me how they died, I have had to listen to them natter on and on about it._

_I had hoped that coming to Hogwarts would stop it. But people keep talking about how it's a miracle I survived like it's some crazy thing. Why am I famous for surviving the car crash that killed my parents with only the weird scar on my head? _

_I've tried to tell people that I don't want to talk about my parents or how they died or how I survived. I've tried to do my studying and keep my head down. But it's obvious my parents were a waste of space and I'm a waste of space and so I decided that I wouldn't waste anyone else's time or space._

_The money from my vault should go to take care of abused orphans so no one else has to live what I lived through. _

_Harry Potter_

* * *

Minerva McGonagall turned to Severus Snape and with fierce tears said, "Well. You've finally gotten your revenge on James Potter. Are you happy now?"

* * *

CHALLANGE:

A story where Harry Potter spends at least one month at Hogwarts without knowing the "Boy-Who-Lived" myth. How it could happen is the challange. Also, how his lack of information reveals itself.


	15. Boy Who Didn't Know V3

A/N: A somewhat less tragic version of the last bunny. Apologies for not making the warnings clearer for those who were shocked. Another answer for my own "Boy Who Didn't Know" challenge. But still only a bunny length. This one is less about the amount of time before he finds out and more about how it's uncovered. There ARE slight differences in the beginning part - so don't skip them.

Given an angry Harry, more vindictive Durselys, and a more vitriolic Snape …

* * *

Boy Who Didn't Know V3

* * *

Hagrid was flummoxed. When he tried to tell Harry about his parents, the boy refused to hear anything about them. He had been told by the Dursleys how they died and it was a sore point.

He sighed. He didn't have much more to talk to Harry about other than his parents.

It was much worse the next day. When several patrons of the Leaky Cauldron tried to greet him too enthusiastically, Harry cried out with frustration, "Leave me alone!" The patrons decided that the boy was still upset about his parents deaths, years later.

Conversation was very stilted through the whole trip. Finally, Hagrid agreed to not mention his parents and the conversation was somewhat friendlier.

When they got to the bank, Hagrid asked for expedited service on withdrawing enough gold for supplies. Instead of being taken to the vaults, Harry was presented with a bag containing enough money for his supplies. Hagrid said something about not wasting it and Harry assumed that there wasn't much available. He did get his key.

When Harry was getting his wand, Draco Malfoy had entered with his parents and he hustled him out before Ollivander could talk more about his wand.

* * *

Harry had finally gotten onto the platform by watching for anyone who had Hogwarts supplies and following them. He was over an hour early. He got all of his things inside and took out one of his course books.

Several people tried to talk to him but he resolutely refused to talk further as soon as anyone said "Boy-Who-Lived" or mentioned his parents. Finally, even Ron Weasley, the socially retarded redhead, got the point.

* * *

Harry was tired of the talking and the stares and the pointing. He just wanted to go to class and study. Even though he had been put into Gryffindor, he didn't feel particularly brave.

The worst was Friday. When he had gotten into Potions class, the teacher had singled him out and called him a "celebrity." He didn't know why his parents dying and him surviving made him a celebrity, but the Potions professor took great joy in making fun of his lack of knowledge despite his "celebrity status." It was so bad, he went to his Head of House.

As soon as he started talking, his hopes were dashed. As soon as he said "Professor Snape," McGonagall stopped him and said, "I'm sorry Mr. Potter. But I have no control over how the other Professors run their classes. I can try to have the Headmaster look into it, but he has made it clear that I have no authority over Professor Snape's actions."

Harry looked at her in horror. Without saying a word, he turned around and left.

Minerva McGonagall sighed. The Headmaster had been adamant that Harry Potter must learn to deal with adversity. She had tried to get him to control Snape after several comments, but the Headmaster had only twinkled and given her his instructions.

She really didn't like this at all.

* * *

Harry endured the first month of his Hogwarts' experience, but his anger was being ratcheted up. Finally, in one of the Hogwarts corridors, it exploded.

* * *

Severus Snape was walking down the corridor when he saw Harry Potter standing in the middle of it speaking with another student. Several first year females were on the fringes, watching the boy with interest. He felt a jolt of irritation.

"Potter! Get out of the way! If you must indulge in your celebrity status, do it where you are not interrupting others from reaching their own destinations." His sneer was in full force as he said this.

Potter turned and gave him such a look of loathing that he was slightly taken aback. Potter ground out between his teeth, "Stop talking about that. I don't want to hear about that."

Severus was feeling some satisfaction. He had finally broken through and caused the boy to react. It led to him pouncing on it immediately: He wanted to show the world exactly how pathetic the boy was. "Why? Don't you just love hearing about how you're such a powerful wizard for surviving? How your parents died and you lived? About being the _boy-who-lived_?" He said the last with a heavy dose of sarcasm.

The boy yelled back. "So what? So I survived! I don't know why it's such a big deal. Why can't people just shut up about it?"

Severus Snape was taken aback. What was the boy talking about? But he knew Potters and he knew how they thought. "Don't tell me you don't enjoy hearing about how _powerful_ you were to survive. You're just like your pathetic father: Glorying in the attention."

The boy screamed back. "Thousands of kids and even adults survived what I survived! Why is it such a big deal?"

At that moment, Severus knew there was something very wrong. He tried to reign in his disdain, but was not successful. "Do you know how your parents were killed?"

The boy looked at him with true hatred, something he hadn't seen since the disappearance of the Dark Lord. "Yes! My _loving relatives_ told me all about it! My drunk father living on the dole killed himself and my whore of a mother by driving a car when drunk! Yes. I survived with this weird scar. So what? Muggles survive car crashes all the time! I am tired of getting reminded about it EVERY … GOD … DAMNED … DAY!"

Potter turned and rushed off.

* * *

Susan Bones, who had been in the crowd, was completely shocked by what she just heard. Harry Potter thought his parents died in a Muggle car crash? His scar was just a from that crash? She rushed to write her aunt. Something was very wrong.

* * *

Ron Weasley got back to the corridor after going to the bathroom and looked around. "Where did Harry go?" he asked another student who was standing there in shock.

The other student pointed up the corridor and said, "He ran that way?"

Ron thought the other student was acting weird.

* * *

Severus Snape was rushing to the Headmaster's office. Minerva McGonagall saw his face and was alarmed. "Severus? What is it?"

"Where is the Headmaster? I need to speak to him right away!" Snape said, even as Minerva moved to walk with him.

"Calm down! The Headmaster went to Hogsmeade to speak to someone at the Three Broomsticks. He'll be back in an hour. What is going on?"

Severus stopped dead in his tracks. He considered telling Minerva what he had just been told, but decided that Dumbledore needed to be told first. "An incident with Potter."

Minerva gave him a disdainful look. "Can't you just leave the boy alone? I've already had to shut up about your interactions with him by order of the Headmaster. If I can't talk about the boy, why should you be able?"

"You don't understand. I've just learned …" Severus violently shook his head once. "We need to see the Headmaster."

Minerva sighed. "Well, either send an owl or go yourself. There's no other choice. Or you can send a Patronus message …"

"Can you send it?" Severus asked desperately. He would not allow anyone to see his Patronus. "He needs to get back to his office as soon as possible as I need to speak to him urgently."

* * *

The Seventh-year Ravenclaw watched as the owl she just had sent flew off. She had always wanted to work at the Daily Prophet. Perhaps this would give her a leg up.

* * *

Albus sighed as he listed to the message. He stood up and drained the final part of the mead that Rosmerta had served him. "I'm sorry," he said to the Wizengamot member he had been speaking to. "Apparently I am needed back at Hogwarts. We'll have to discuss this next week."

The man nodded and watched as Albus Dumbledore moved to the floo.

Albus threw in the floo powder and called out "Hogwarts Headmaster's office! Sugar Plums!" The location and password sent, he stepped through the fire.

Upon arriving, he saw Severus standing with agitation. Minerva was watching with some curiosity.

"Hello, Severus and Minerva. What is the problem I was messaged so urgently about?"

Severus looked at the Headmaster and the Deputy. He pulled out the vial he had already put his memory in. "I need you to see this right immediately." He paused. "You should perhaps explain to the Deputy Headmistress after you've seen it."

The Headmaster accepted the vial and moved to the cabinet containing his pensieve. He carefully moved the memories already in the bowl to separate vials and then put the new one in.

He put his finger to the bowl and dropped into the memory. Minerva watched from the side, wondering what in Merlin's name the problem was.

When Albus exited the pensieve, his face was ashen. He looked at his two staff members, his mind racing. Finally, he decided on a course of action. "Minerva? Can you retrieve Hagrid? I need to enquire about a few issues and then an explanation will be given."

Minerva stood in a huff. "Fine. But I expect a full explanation when I return."

Albus nodded. "And you shall have it."

Minerva left. Albus looked at Severus. "Was it necessary to be so harsh with the boy?"

Severus' face took on a blank look. "I was merely attempting to ensure that his assuredly pampered upbringing did not give him the idea that he was entitled to special treatment."

Albus sighed. "It is becoming apparent that his upbringing is not exactly what you believed it was, nor even what I believed it was. I did not expect him to be pampered but it is apparent that it was far worse than I expected. I need to lock down the owlery until we can resolve this." Severus nodded. It had only been twenty minutes. Hopefully, this could be contained.

He, and Albus Dumbledore, would soon find out that they were not quite quick enough.

* * *

It was dinner time. The staff were waiting for Harry Potter to arrive. They had just had a meeting to attempt to find out exactly what had happened. Hagrid had told them how Harry had not wanted to discuss his parents when the two met and that he had said his relatives had explained how his parents had died.

Albus was not looking forward to enlightening the gentle giant about the truth of the matter. Before that, they needed to speak to the boy himself. It was decided that Minerva would get a note delivered during the meal and that they would speak to him in the Headmaster's office after dinner.

At fifteen minutes after the beginning of dinner, it was obvious the boy was not there. Albus murmured something to his deputy. Minerva nodded and stood up.

* * *

Ron Weasley was eating his dinner, fully concentrating upon the wonderful Hogwarts food. Suddenly he heard a voice. "Mr. Weasley?"

He turned and saw his Head of House. "Ut?"

Professor McGonagall gave him a look of disapproval. "Kindly swallow before speaking. It's rather disgusting when you talk with your mouth full." Hermione Granger, who was nearby, nodded in agreement with the quiet comment.

Ron quickly chewed and swallowed. "Do you need something, Professor?"

"Do you know where Mr. Potter is?" she asked with some interest.

Ron shrugged. "He was in the dorm. He said he wasn't hungry." Ron sounded confused at this. How could someone pass up a meal? "He said he was going to take a nap."

Minerva nodded. "I see. Thank you, Mr. Weasley. Return to your meal – and try to use more decorum as you eat."

Ron blushed red and looked around. Those around him were watching with satisfaction.

* * *

Minerva, Albus, and Severus quickly finished their meal. They needed to get Harry before the students started returning to the dorms. They completed their meal and left. Before they could make their way up the steps toward the Gryffindor dorms (Minerva) and the Headmaster's office (Albus and Severus), they were interrupted.

"We need to talk." They all turned and saw a sight that put fear in two of them and guilt in the other. Walking from the front doors was Amelia Bones, head of the DMLE.

Albus tried to extricate the staff. "Madam Bones. What are you doing here? We have a somewhat urgent matter to deal with – Hogwarts business and all. Can your business wait?"

Amelia looked at the Headmaster with disdain. "Is this about Harry Potter?"

Albus was brought up short. "Why do you ask?"

She pulled out a folded parchment. "I received a very disturbing letter during my dinner. And before it ends up blowing up in everyone's face, I wanted to get the truth of it."

Albus took the parchment, even as Amelia said, "This is a copy. The original was put into evidence."

Albus groaned internally as he read it. He sighed. "Yes. I learned out it after the fact. We were just attempting to resolve it."

Amelia's face took on a look of determination. "Well, I will be involved. When this gets out, the fallout will impact everyone and there will be calls for my department to get involved. I'd rather be able to say that we are already involved."

Albus tut-tutted. "I've taken steps to contain it."

Amelia looked at him incredulously. "Are you out of your mind? If I already have been informed, do you really think that someone else hasn't already started spreading the information? You DO know how fast rumours spread in and from this place, don't you?"

Albus closed his eyes in resignation. That was nothing but the truth. "Very well. Minerva was just getting Mr. Potter so that we might speak in my office."

Amelia nodded and then looked curious. "Is Mr. Potter a Slytherin?"

The staff was confused. "No. He's in Gryffindor. Why do you ask?" Minerva asked

Amelia looked at Severus Snape as she replied to the Deputy Headmistress, "I was wondering why Mr. Snape is involved with this discussion. It's obvious from the letter that the two do not have a good relationship and it's obvious that matters of heavy emotion will be discussed. Why would you include the Head of Slytherin house in the discussion?"

Minerva looked startled for a moment as she considered that. Albus tried to dismiss the matter. "He was the one who learned of the problem. His insights are needed."

Amelia pierced the Headmaster with her glare. "Since no one seems to care about Mr. Potter's mental well-being, I guess I will have to step in. Severus Snape is in no way to be involved when the circumstances of his parents' deaths are discussed. After that is resolved, I will want to speak to him, and both of you, regarding why he is being allowed to denigrate the good name of a war hero. I'm certain that the issue will come up."

Severus' face took on a pasty look. He hadn't considered that aspect. If Amelia Bones immediately took that as a matter of concern, he could just imagine what the unwashed masses would say.

Albus sighed and turned. "Severus. We will speak at 9:00 on the matter. I might be best if you were not present for the initial discussion."

Severus nodded and moved to retreat to the dungeons.

* * *

Daily Prophet Headlines the next day ...

_Boy-Who-Lived Told His Parents were a Drunk and Whore_

_Boy-Who-Lived Told Scar was from Muggle Accident_

_What Happened to the Fabled Potter Wealth?_

A/N: I don't have it in me to make this a big long story – that's why it's a bunny. But where it is going should be apparent.


	16. The Regency of Potter

A/N: Just a random Bunny I saw when I was in the middle of my last update on my Lone Traveler stories. This one is … well, satisfying but not too deep.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore walked in to Gringotts' lobby, his robes resplendent, a smile upon his face, and a twinkle in his eyes.

The unexpected temporary defeat of Tom Riddle had opened up a number of possibilities and he had made immediate plans to ensure that Tom would be finally defeated. The prophesied child was placed in a protected home where he would not be allowed to become too … rebellious. He lamented the necessity – but the Greater Good demanded it.

One obstacle had taken care of itself: Sirius Black was taken by the DMLE as the Potter's secret keeper. He had personally been shown the slip by Sirius. The other possible obstacle would be Alice Longbottom. However, the Longbottoms were still in hiding – they were being cautious in their actions. Alice had, however, immediately asked about her godson. He had told her that Harry was being kept safe.

Albus was certain he could convince the Auror of the need to keep Harry where he was protected.

One final step was needed: He had to take care of becoming the Potter regent. Regency would allow him to dictate Harry's care as well as wield the influence that the Potter name held. It would also give him access to the resources needed to ensure Harry was prepared for his future.

Albus soon saw a free teller. He made his way toward the station, already withdrawing his own, signed order. "Good afternoon, my fine teller! I am here to take up the regency for an orphaned child, in accordance with this order. I say, you suit looks smashing on you. Anyway, I need to speak to the Manager which represents the account involved."

The teller looked at the wizard before him with barely held disdain. This one thought he held influence because he was a power within the human Ministry. While it wasn't politic to show their contempt too deeply, they could get away with wasting his time.

"Wait here, please." The goblin turned his sign, dropped down off his chair, and made his way to one of the many doors which lined the area behind the counter. As he walked down the corridor, he was cursing the stupid wizard under his breath.

In another world, he would have made it all the way to the Potter Manager's office, but in this world, his route was interrupted. Such was his lack of attention that he walked directly into another goblin leaving another office.

As he fell down, he rolled to maintain his control, even as he saw from the corner of his eye the other goblin do the same. He looked up and paled. He had run into Senior Manager Barchoke.

Senior Manager Barchoke had collected himself almost immediately and then turned to see who had run into him. "Teller Grishnak. What business has left you so devoid of proper decorum that you would inconvenience me?"

Grishnak bowed deeply to the Senior Manager. "Apologies most profound, Senior Manager. I was distracted by my dealings with a particularly annoying wizard. The Gaudy one arrived at my station with an order from the human Ministry. I was on my way to notifying the relevant Manager."

"So this human order was so important that you allow your actions to impede my own work?" Barchoke asked ominously.

"No, Senior Manager! My annoyance was so much that I was engaging in useless cursing so as to relieve my irritation. It would not do to allow my lack of control to present a bad image of our people. I will accept whatever punishment you deem appropriate." Grishnak was secretly hopeful – Barchoke was as vicious as any Senior Manager – but was not known for being too bloodthirsty when unnecessary. You had to really rile him up before he would mow a trail of blood throughout the bank.

"Let me see this order." Barchoke held out his hand. Grishnak handed the order over and waited with forced calm for it to be reviewed. Barchoke's face took on a thoughtful look. Grishnak became much less calm when Barchoke's face took on a much more malevolent look. "I've decided to oversee this matter. Complete your notification."

Grishnak was feeling terrified as the Senior Manager followed him to the office of Slipknife. He knocked on the door. "Enter!" a voice called out.

Grishnak entered. Slipknife's face was set in a sneer. That sneer disappeared when he saw who accompanied the teller. Slipknife stood hastily. "Senior Manager! How can I help you?"

Barchoke motioned to Grishnak. Grishnak presented the order he was carrying. Slipknife was irritated – he didn't like the Gaudy one any more than any other goblin. "Go retrieve him. You will be his escort until he leaves." Grishnak nodded and rushed to do as he was told.

Slipknife looked toward Barchoke. "Senior Manager, is there something you need?"

Barchoke's smile was terrifying. "I have an idea. I'd like to repay Teller Grishnak for his … diligence in aiding the Chief Warlock with this matter. Here's what I want to happen …." As Barchoke spoke, Slipknife's face took on a similar look to the Senior Manager.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore cheerfully followed the teller back into the bowels of Gringotts. They arrived at a door and the teller knocked. "Enter!"

Grishnak entered and bowed. Albus Dumbledore followed along cheerfully. "I bring your appointment."

Slipknife nodded. He glanced at Barchoke and then back. "Very good. Stay here – you will have some additional duties." Grishnak was confused but did as he was told.

Slipknife motioned the wizard to an unfomfortable looking chair. Dumbledore asked, "May I?" He motioned toward his wand. The goblins all had to withhold the gnashing of teeth at the presumption. Slipknife nodded. The Gaudy one conjured a human chair, one more suitable for women and children and not a warrior. The sneers they felt were barely hidden – luckily the wizard thought he understood for more than he did.

Slipknife looked at the order and back up. "Chief Warlock. Having received this order on this day, 4 November, 1981, I will now inform you that it will take 24 hours to review the order and the involved records before we may act." Slipknife's face took on a small smile. To a human, it would look friendly. Grishnak was not a human.

"It has been decided by Senior Manager Barchoke that your importance in magical society should be recognized. Therefore, we have decided to appoint one particular employee to help you whenever you must have dealings with the bank. His first priority will be your banking needs. This will be Grishnak here, a teller with much experience. He will be assigned the title of Assistant Manager. He will not be in charge of the accounts – just in charge of expediting your needs. How does that sound?"

Albus was pleasantly surprised. "That sounds wonderful!" He turned to the goblin who had led him. "I look forward to working with you in the future."

Grishnak nodded, hiding despair.

Slipknife said, "Tomorrow at 3:00, please return. Grishnak will watch for you. Please wait outside so that we can give him our instructions."

Albus nodded pleasantly and exited the office. As soon as the wizard closed the door, the faces of the two managers changed. Barchoke spoke. "Well. Your job will be to ensure that all rules and regulations are followed when it involved the Gaudy one. Once he has been led out, you will return and take the time to review the contract and bylaws of the account to ensure that all steps are followed. We shall see how long you will retain your new … position. Do well, and you will return to your teller position quickly. Do poorly … well, just do well. Do you understand?" Barchoke asked.

Grishnak nodded, looking almost like a house elf. "Yes, Senior Manager!"

"Go."

As soon as Grishnak left, the two managers cut loose with the laughter they had withheld. "Oh, thank the Lady Mab!" Slipknife finally said. "I can sit back and watch as someone else deals with the Gaudy one."

Barchoke, who had also mastered himself, replied, "I expect regular, detailed reports."

Sliknife grinned as he nodded respectfully. "Of course, Senior Manager."

Barchoke made his way out to inform the powers that be of Teller Grishnak's new responsibility.

* * *

Grishnak cursed himself as he closed on book and moved to the next. HE had to familiarized himself with every aspect of any account that the Gaudy one was involved in. He was feeling particularly angry with himself for not paying attention.

It hadn't helped that many of the brethren had barely concealed smirks as they watched the unfortunate former teller retrieve the necessary records for his new position. Some looks were pure malevolence – but there were a few that held a bit of camaraderie. Usually those looks came from other goblins who had irritated the wrong goblin and were given a similar, most annoying position as "reward." Grishnak just happened to irritate the most cerebral of those on the "Do Not Cross This Goblin" list. Most goblins were happy to experience lashings and dealing with hungry dragons to the exotic punishments Barchoke was famous for.

You didn't bleed as much physically – but your soul bled for much longer.

Grishnak, in feeling sorry for himself, almost missed it. In one of the included records was a reference to the contract that the Potter family had with Gringotts. It was obscure, but a necessary detour. Grishnak looked through another stack of parchment and found the document mentioned. After reading it carefully, Grishnak sat back and considered. He then reached for another document and reviewed that. A small smile lit his face. He might have to deal with the Gaudy one – but he didn't have to make it easy on the wizard.

* * *

Albus strolled, once again, into Gringotts. Unlike earlier visits, there was no waiting for him as Grishnak, his new helper, was immediately available. The other goblins and customers watched as the former teller led the Gaudy one through a door.

Very soon he was back in the same office. There was only Grishnak and Slipknife present. Grishnak addressed him from a stool on the side of the large desk. "Chief Warlock, to satisfy the order delivered to Gringotts 4 November, 1981, you will need to sign a few documents, acknowledging your authority." Grishnak pulled a large stack and placed them in front of Dumbledore.

Albus asked, "Er. How many pages have to be signed?"

Grishnak replied, "Inilial all of them, and sign the last page."

Albus sighed. "Can I have time to review them?"

Grishnak nodded. "I will sit here and answer any questions."

It took only thirty minutes, but soon Albus Dumbledore was signing pages with only the most cursory glances. It took quite some time to complete the stack. When he signed the last page, he sighed and rubbed his right hand with his left. "There! All done!"

Grishnak had signed each page as it was signed by the wizard and then Slipknife had signed as witness for each one. The two goblins took a moment to arrange the files back in proper order and then Grishnak reached for a particular slim book and placed it in front of Dumbledore.

"What's this?" Albus asked curiously.

Grishnak was calm as he replied, "This is a book containing the Bylaws of Potter, as stipulated on page 127 of the contract you just signed. As required by the Bylaws, none can claim regency without first studying the bylaws. You have twenty-four hours to complete that step. Until that time, you must be careful."

Albus was both annoyed and curious. "Why careful?"

Grishnak nodded. He motioned for the book and Albus pushed it back. Grishnak opened it to a random page. "For example, this particular page has a bylaw that states: 'All Heirs of Potter must be educated on proper use of a dagger by an experienced soldier or weapons master by the age of ten.'" Grishnak looked up. "Contemplate, for a moment, disagreeing with that bylaw."

Albus started, "Of course I disagree with the Bylaw! I would never …." He suddenly felt a sharp pain in his chest.

Grishnak nodded. "Thus the necessity of studying the bylaws. A Potter by blood would not have suffered for a violation, the contract recognizing the preeminence of a live Head of House over the writings of dead ones. However, you are not a Potter by blood. Our Contract with House Potter demands that any regent sign a contract to follow the bylaws unless specifically changed by a sitting Head of House. If you do not wish to die a painful death, you will study the bylaws and ensure that all are followed, according to the law as ALREADY in place as of the date you signed the contract. As an aside, you may not support and you must actively fight against any changes to law which would obviate a bylaw until Heir Potter achieves his majority or another takes on the Regency of Potter. Only if a law is passed despite your true desire to oppose it will the change in the bylaws be successful before that point"

Albus looked at the goblin with a bit of horror. What had he signed for? He'd have now be extremely cautious with how he managed the Potter regency. He cursed, inside his mind, the goblins' insistence on following contracts to the letter.

After Albus left, Slipknife volunteered, "Well. I believe Senior Manager Barchoke might just be slightly satisfied with your handling of that matter. Continue on – and you might be relieved of this position before the Guady one dies of old age."

Grishnak fervently prayed to Lady Mab, within his mind, for just that to happen.

* * *

A/N: That's the end of my bunny. Dumbles would not be able to ignore bad reports, allow Harry to come to harm, etc. etc. with this bunny. I'd like to see someone write a story which shows the result of something like this. I don't have the time or the muse for it .. but I think it'd be funny.


	17. The Beginning of Gringotts

Establishing Gringotts Bank

Circa AD 989, Scotland

The four recognized Masters (or Mistresses as the case may be) of Magic sat in the main office to resolve a certain matter.

"It cannot be helped. We must have a secure method of receiving tuition from those families that can afford it," said the matronly woman in yellow and black.

The princely-dressed man in green and silver offered, "I, of course, agree. Perhaps it should be I who manages it. I can create enchantments on trunks to prevent theft and to deliver the funds from there."

The stately woman in blue and bronze looked at her fellow Master with disdain. "I quite disagree. We will, none of us, have time to manage the funds and to perform due diligence in our duties to our charges. To say nothing of any 'fabled wealth' we might gather that whatever current King of Scotland might wish to appropriate."

The powerful Lord in red and gold mildly offered, "We have agreements that we shall remain separate from whatever King currently holds power within any of the lands of Britain. Our wards should prevent intrusion."

The other three looked at the man scathingly. The stately woman replied, "And you trust the words of politicians? What should happen should any of the current successors of An Ferbasach¹ get it in their head that their 'Divine Right to Rule' should mean that such agreements are to be rescinded? We do not have the resources or the time to deal with such silliness."

The powerful man sighed. "You might have the right of it. My cousins are all greedy for power. It was a good day for me when I forever forsook any claim to the throne in exchange for sovereignty of these lands for our school. So what should we do?"

The four sat and contemplated possible solutions. As was his wont, Godric absently pulled his sword and slammed it home to its scabbard as he thought. Finally, however, even even-tempered Helga's patience broke. "Would you stop that infernal racket? Your incessant need to play with your toy is distracting!"

Godric was not offended. He knew his habits, on occasion, would try the patience of his fellows. He still, in amusement, defended his sword. "It is not a _toy_. It was a gift from the goblins for my defence of their settlement against those unlettered idiots that were being goaded on by that unwashed priest. The leader of the clan presented it to me personally!"

Even as his fellows rolled their eyes (having heard the tale _numerous_ times), Godric once again admired the sword he had been presented with. As he looked upon the finely crafted item, suddenly he had it.

"Ladies. Salazar. What do we know of the goblins?"

From that discussion it was decided that the Gott goblin clan that had gifted Godric with his sword would receive, store, and disperse the funds that Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry collected. After all, goblins were known to be fierce followers of any agreement they entered in to.

* * *

Summer 1310, London Catacombs

Gilbert de Clare, 7th Earl of Hertford, sat before the head of the Gott Clan. "Is it possible?" he asked.

Snarlgott peered at his noble visitor. "You wish my clan to open another vault for your grand-niece?"

De Clare nodded. "Since the destruction of the Templar Knights, it has been difficult for the various houses to find secure methods of storing and transferring gold without the need to subject our messengers to possible banditry. For years, the Knights Templar provided such a service. But greed and a desire for power has seen them destroyed. My grand-niece's invitation to Hogwarts has caused me to look into their financial base. Do you know what I found?"

Snarlgott sat back. "Why don't you tell me?"

"Since your clan has managed its accounts, no funds earmarked for Hogwarts has ever been misplaced, stolen, or lost in transit. Not once coin, not even the meanest bronze, has ever been lost until after it has left your possession. You also, unlike others, have never been beholden to religious or political leaders either in far-distant lands or even within the Isle of Briton." Lord Hertford sat forward. "I would see that the funds I have provided for my grand-niece's dowry and education are protected, regardless of whom rules England or the holy lands at any given time."

The head of the Gott clan pondered this idea. Finally he replied, "I will have to consult my fellow clan leaders. But it may be possible …."

* * *

1473, London

The Gott Clan leaders sat in council. The current head, Gringott, spoke. "The human war, from all appearances, continues on. The wizards are withdrawing from both sides to form their own council."

His brother asked, "What matter? The fools kill each other for meaningless reasons. Who cares who leads the humans? I surely don't."

There were noises of agreement all around. "Be that as it may, but the council is looking to see all of our various agreements folded together into one concise form. They have asked us to provide a charter."

The leader of the Hook clan protested. "We have agreements with many different families. Each one has its own provisos and stipulations. Are we to subject ourselves to the rule of humans now?"

The clan leader called out, "No!" The all nodded in agreement. "BUT. But. It would be profitable to have official sanction. The wealth of the wizards is spread between many earldoms, kingdoms, duchies, and so forth. Should the wizards win their independence, and from all appearances they will succeed, they will spend countless hours reviewing all agreements with sovereign powers. We are such a power. It would behoove us to codify one set of rules and agreements so that we will no longer waste resources or time trying to keep them all separate."

The leaders argued and haggled, until finally a consensus would be reached. It would take months, but each agreement would be negotiated and modified newly to acknowledge the Gott clan as the acknowledged bankers for the new Wizarding council.

Many goblins began work to create many vaults to accommodate the anticipated flow of business.

* * *

July 1, 1474, Diagon Alley, London

The head of Wizarding Council spoke to those attending. "And so, it gives be great honour to recognize one bank that our Council will do business with. The newly chartered bank shall be run by the Gott clan, and shall be known as 'Gringotts', in honor of its founder. Grin, head of the Gott clan."

* * *

¹ First recognized King of Scotland Kenneth MacAlpin I also known as An Ferbasach (The Conqueror). Ascended the throne in AD 848. All Kings and Queens of Scotland (and Kings and Queens of England since 1603) are his descendents.


	18. The Wand

**Bold Text is excerpted from OOTP PP 279-280**

**"Well, it's nothing to be ashamed of!" said Mrs Longbottom angrily. "You should be proud, Neville, proud! They didn't give their health and their sanity so their only son would be ashamed of them, you now!"**

**"I'm not ashamed," said Neville, very faintly, still looking anywhere but at Harry and the others. Ron was now standing on tiptoe to look over at the inhabitants of the two beds. **

**"Well, you've got a funny way of showing it!" said Mrs. Longbottom. "My son and his wife," she said, turning haughtily to Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny, "were tortured into insanity by You-Know-Who's followers. "**

**Hermione and Ginny both clapped their hands over their mouths. Ron stopped craning his neck to catch a glimpse of Neville's parents and looked mortified. **

**"They were Aurors, you know, and very well respected within the Wizarding community" Mrs. Longbottom went on. "Highly gifted, the pair of them. I - yes, Alice dear, what is it?"**

**Neville's mother had come edging down the ward in her nightdress. She no longer had the plump, happy-looking face Harry had seen in Moody's old photograph of the original Order of the Phoenix. Her face was thin and worn now, her eyes seemed overlarge and her hair, which had turned white, was wispy and dead-looking. She did not seem to want to speak, or perhaps she was not able to, but she made timid motions towards Neville, holding something in her outstretched hand. **

**"Again?" said Mrs. Longbottom, sounding slightly weary. "Very well, Alice dear, very well - Neville, take it, whatever it is." **

**But Neville had already stretched out his hand, into which his mother dropped an empty Drooble's Best Blowing Gum wrapper. "Very nice, dear," said Neville's grandmother in a falsely cheery voice, patting his mother on the shoulder. **

**But Neville said quietly, "Thanks, Mum." His mother tottered away, back up the ward, humming to herself.**

Harry stood back, watching the whole interaction. Suddenly, he had a curious thought. He motioned to Neville to come closer. Trying to not look at anyone around, Neville asked, "Yeah?"

"I was wondering … have your parents gotten any better since they came here?"

Neville was close to tears as he replied. "Not really. They kinda … just sit there, 'cept Mum always gives me those wrappers."

Harry looked at Neville with some compassion as he said, "Just goes to show you that she recognizes you. Otherwise, she'd be giving them to whoever walked in." Neville looked a bit brighter at that. Even Mrs. Longbottom, who was trying to appear less nosey than she was, had a thoughtful look when she overheard the comment. "Anyway, I was wondering … has anyone tried to get their magic to react?"

Neville looked at Harry with an odd look. "What do you mean?"

Harry tried to put into words what he was struggling to think about. "Well, here they sit. The mediwizards cast spells on them, I'm sure, and give them potions and I'm sure everyone tries to talk to them." He paused and then continued. "I know when I was hit with the Cruciatus I didn't feel right until I actually cast spells again myself. Sure, I was still in pain – but I didn't feel that horrible unbearable suffering."

Neville looked between his parents and Harry, looking thoughtful. Neville's grandmother, becoming somewhat interested, interjected, "Well, what would you suggest then? Try to get them to cast spells?" Her tone was somewhat derisive.

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. But I remember when I finally got the right wand at Ollivanders, how my magic seemed to just _sing_. Until I got the right wand – my magic was just kind of … sitting there. I never noticed but it was just … stuffed up. And then my wand let it all come out." He sighed. "It's too bad their wands aren't here. I'd like to see what would happen if you gave them their wands and let their magic start to flow again." He shrugged again.

Neville looked at Harry thoughtfully and then slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out his wand. He looked at Harry again and then started slowly walking toward his parents.

Mrs. Longbottom started to call out harshly "Neville! Don't go experimenting with something you don't know!"

Before she could say anything else, Neville turned back and looked at the group who were watching. He had a look of resolve that not one of them had ever seen on his face before. He held the wand up. "This is NOT my wand. It's my fathers. And I'm going to give it to him – and see what happens." He turned resolutely back and started to move with more purpose.

Neville's grandmother was suddenly struck speechless. Her grandson had never spoken with that tone in her hearing in all the years of his growing up. Harry noted that although she looked thunderstruck … she didn't look all that upset.

Neville walked up to his father and moved so that he was looking straight at him. Neville's father didn't react much. Neville said clearly, "Hold up your hand."

Suddenly, everyone could see Frank Longbottom's eyes come into focus. He still didn't look all there, but now had a look of confusion.

Harry heard a small gasp coming from Mrs. Longbottom.

Frank hesitantly raised his hand, still looking confused. Neville reached down and took his hand. Moving to the side, so he wasn't on the other side of the wand, he put the wand in his father's hand and then moved his fingers to close around it.

Frank looked at the wand in his hand again. And then slowly began to wave the wand.

The entire ward was suddenly awash in light as bright sparks flew from the wand in Frank Longbottom's hand. Gold and silver lights cascaded down – even as the waving wand was suddenly being moved with more surety.

Everyone looked at the man's face. And, unlike earlier, he had now a look of concentration as he looked at his wand in his hand as he waved it around. When it stopped he looked around. He still wasn't fully there … but he was more there now that either of the other Longbottoms had seen in the last 14 years.

Neville turned and said to his Gran. "Well, I guess I need to get my own wand now."

A/N: This is as far as I got with the bunny. Feel free to take it if you wish.


	19. Harry Gets Worried

A random plot bunny. Harry Gets Nervous.**  
…**

**"Alas, the first thing you ask me, I cannot tell you. Not today. Not now. You will know, one day... put it from your mind for now, Harry. When you are older... I know you hate to hear this... when you are ready, you will know." **

**And Harry knew it would be no good to argue. "But why couldn't Quirrell touch me?" **

**"Your mother died to save you. If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is love. He didn't realize that love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark. Not a scar, no visible sign... to have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever. It is in your very skin. Quirrell, full of hatred, greed, and ambition, sharing his soul with Voldemort, could not touch you for this reason. It was agony to touch a person marked by something so good."**

**Dumbledore now became very interested in a bird out on the windowsill, which gave Harry time to dry his eyes on the sheet.**

Harry was about to ask Dumbledore about his invisibility cloak when a sudden thought occurred to him. "Oh, Merlin!"

Dumbledore's attention, which had been elsewhere, suddenly focused on Harry. "I expect you had a sudden thought?" For the first time in this conversation, Dumbledore looked less than all-knowing.

"Er. Yes, Professor. I think I need your help." Harry was very nervous.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Even though I've had a few problems with History of Magic and staying awake, I learned a few things. And one thing I learned …." Harry paused again and started over. "Can you come with me to Gringotts? I need to speak to someone there?"

Dumbledore was very curious now. "About what, if I might ask?"

"I've accidentally insulted the goblins."

The Headmaster looked surprised. "I don't think I understand."

Harry was about to explain. But instead he said, "I think I need to go seem them and I'll need a guardian to go with me. And … well, I think it's going to have to be you. It's really important."

Dumbledore looked at Harry curiously. He was about to press a bit, but seeing how concerned the boy was, he decided that he would humour him.

If nothing else, Dumbledore was always curious. And a little crazy. He was an old man and had to get his amusements from somewhere.

"Well, I shall have to speak to Madam Pomfrey. She is not one to allow her patients out of her clutches until she feels they are ready. But we shall have to see if we can convince her."

The next day Harry and Professor Dumbledore made their way to the Headmaster's office, despite Poppy Pomfrey's disagreement. She only approved when Harry and the Headmaster promised that he would not be doing any magic.

The two made it into the Headmaster's office. Harry looked around with interest. The office was quite peculiar. "How are we getting there, sir?"

Dumbledore smiled. "I've asked for help from my friend here." Dumbledore walked over to a large and proud bird sitting on a perch to one side. "Come over and say hello to Fawkes, Harry."

Harry walked over and looked at the bird who looked right back at him. "Woah. He's really cool!"

Dumbledore smiled as he petted his familiar. "This is Fawkes, a phoenix of some intelligence. We've been companions for many years."

Harry motioned with his hand and Dumbledore nodded. Harry reached out and carefully presented his hand to the bird. "Hello, Fawkes. I'm Harry."

The bird trilled beautifully and nudged his head against Harry's hand. Harry took the hint and petted and scratched like he would if it was Hedwig. Dumbledore smiled. "You might be interested to note that Fawkes supplied the core for your wand."

Harry was shocked. "Really? That's wicked cool!" He turned his head back to Fawkes and said, "Thanks, Fawkes. I love my wand."

Fawkes trilled in appreciation.

"Now, Fawkes has a number of abilities. One such will allow him to transport us outside of Gringotts. We can make our way hence from there."

Harry smiled in appreciation. "Wow. How do we do this?"

Dumbledore nodded at Fawkes who rose up and flew in place in front of the two wizards. "Grab on to one of his tailfeathers – not too harshly, but very securely. He will show us from there."

Harry did as he was asked. As soon as he did, Dumbledore followed his example and suddenly Harry felt a flash of heat. In the next instant, the two wizards were standing in a quiet Diagon Alley, right in front of Gringotts.

Harry let go of Fawkes tail in shock, even as Dumbeldore did so. "Woah! That was wicked!"

Dumbledore chuckled even as Fawkes flew around in amusement. "Yes. Quite special, phoenixes. Able to carry exceptional loads and effectively immortal. They are quite exceptional." The Headmaster addressed his familiar. "We will be going into Gringotts, now. We'll meet you back at Howarts."

Fawkes trilled again and then disappeared in a ball of flame.

Dumblefore smiled at Harry's awe. "Shall we?" he asked, motioning toward the bank.

Harry sighed and nodded. The two wizards nodded to the guards even as they entered the bank.

When they arrived inside, they both noted that there weren't many customers around and they made their way to a free teller. As the goblin looked up at the Headmaster, he pointed to Harry and both goblin and Headmaster looked at Harry with interest.

"Er. Hello." Harry read the sign. "Bonehook. I need to see whoever is in charge of that break in last July. I have some information."

The goblin looked sharply at him and then at the Headmaster. The Headmaster, looking thoughtful, nodded his head. It was as if the Headmaster hadn't considered something.

The goblin snarled, "Wait here."

Dumbledore looked at Harry speculatively even as Harry stood nervously.

Soon, the teller returned with a much more professionally dressed goblin. "Come with me."

Harry and the Headmaster moved to follow the goblin. Soon, they stood in front of an impressive door with two guards standing next to it. The goblin said something and the guards moved to allow the goblin through. The goblin knocked on the door with the handle of his dagger.

"Enter!" a voice called out. The goblin led the two wizards inside.

A very regally dressed goblin looked at his visitors and sat up. With some irritation he said, "What is it?" Dumbledore once again turned to look at Harry.

Harry looked at Dumbledore and then the goblin. "Er. Hello, sir. I learned something about the break in last July. I mean I figured out who did it and all that. And I accidentally … well, I have to apologize. I think I stole something from you by accident and I need to apologize."

The goblin looked both angry and confused. The Headmaster looked concerned. "Stole? How can you _accidentally_ steal from us?"

"Er. Well, I accidentally stopped you from catching the guy. So in a way, I stole your chance at justice. Or revenge. Or whatever." The Headmaster looked thoughtful at that.

The goblin snarled, "And how did you prevent us from catching this thief?"

"I … well, that is to say … er … well, I kind of killed him?" The Headmaster's eyes twinkled as he watched Harry try to explain.

The goblin at the desk was taken aback. "Sit down, wizard, and explain."

Harry did so. Harry explained his guesswork as to what had happened with the Philosopher's Stone. And how he realized who had actually broken in to the bank. And then how Quirrell had died.

"Let me clarify this. You confronted this wizard, Quirrell, attempting to stop him from stealing this Stone from Hogwarts. In the course of this, you realized that this wizard was possessed. In the following altercation, in your attempt to prevent him from killing you, he died. The possessing spirit fled. Do I have this correct?"

Harry nodded. The goblin looked over to the Headmaster who verified it. "Yes. I was not aware that the man was being possessed. I tried to explain to Harry that his life was over as soon as he accepted possession. But Harry felt he himself is responsible and asked to be escorted here to apologize for preventing you from taking justice out on the man."

The goblin considered the boy before him. "And so whom was the thief?"

"Well. I think Quirrell was the original thief, but he was acting on orders to actually break in last July," Harry replied.

"And how did you come to this conclusion?" the goblin asked. Dumbledore also looked interested.

"Well, when I met Quirrell before the break-in, my scar never hurt. It only hurt when I saw him again on September 1st," Harry explained earnestly.

The two listening to Harry were taken aback. "Your scar hurt?"

"Yeah, in the Great Hall and sometimes when I was in defense. Whenever Quirrell's back was to me, it gave me a shooting pain. When he touched me during the struggle, it felt like my head was going to explode."

The goblin sat back and said. "And this scar was obtained …"

"When Voldemort tried to kill me as a baby, or so I've been told."

The goblin looked at Harry, at the Headmaster, and then back to Harry. "Would you opposed our inspection of this scar?"

Harry shook his head and then looked to the Headmaster, who was looking both thoughtful and worried. "No." Harry turned to the Headmaster, who suddenly looked concerned.

The Headmaster added, "I only worry that Harry not lose any advantage he might have recived when he obtained it. I have postulated that Harry might have retained some of Voldemort's basic skills in receiving the scar, and I thought it appropriate that he not lose them."

Both Harry and the goblin looked at the Headmaster with some shock. "Why?" the goblin asked.

The Headmaster sighed even as he considered how to answer that without telling Harry yet. "Cassandra. Or, perhaps, Carmenta."

The goblin considered the headmaster carefully. He noticed the confusion on the boy's face. "We shall be most careful. If necessary we shall consult our wise elders."

The Headmaster nodded in agreement..

Soon Harry had been examined by a couple of goblins and a human. The goblins, human, and the Headmaster had left, and then come back. The headmaster followed him back.

The important goblin, whom he had learned was named Ragnok and was head of the bank, spoke with Harry. "The Headmaster was concerned that you lose no advantage against your nemesis, Voldemort. We have consulted and decided that it is most likely that whatever power or skill you might have inherited due to this are now intrinsic to your self. Our dealing with the scar shall have no negative effect. May we proceed?"

Harry was nervous. "This has nothing to do with me preventing you from getting revenge?"

Ragnok grinned. "No. Your payment for preventing our revenge is that you must now, until the wizard known as Voldemort is destroyed, relay all known information you obtain about him. Nothing must be left to random chance. It has been determined that you will most likely face him again one day, as your Headmaster told us he explained to you. His nature will ensure it. We will take future information for the possibility of our achieving our justice. Is that sufficient?"

Harry looked at the Headmaster who smiled and nodded at him. Harry nodded. "Okay. I can do that." Ragnok nodded and then motioned to a goblin that was watching.

When all was said and done, Harry's scar was – painfully – removed from its residual magic. Harry was obligated only for information. And the goblins weren't too upset with him. He was happy about that.


	20. Even ONE MORE Lone Traveler

There is a third dimensional traveler …

* * *

The students were all sitting at the opening feast.

It was the beginning of Harry's third year and Harry had just joined the feast after being checked out by Madam Pomfrey. Dumbledore had warned the students about the dementors and the feast begun.

**Harry, suddenly ravenous, helped himself to everything he could reach and began to eat.**

Suddenly, just as the majority of the students were polishing off their meal before their desert a pulsing ball of lightning appeared at the front of the Great Hall.

Alarmed, the staff ordered the students back.

The ball of lightning reshaped itself into the form of a man and suddenly, in front of the students, a figure emerged from the lightning.

Those who were well read or were older were shocked when the spitting image of James Potter appeared in front of the hall. Careful observation, however, would disprove this for a number of reasons. First, the man was dressed as a muggle – which James Potter had not been known for. He was wearing black denims, torn in various places with black bandanas tied around one thigh. He was also wearing a black sleeveless t-shirt. Those who read it were shocked by the words, "Though I ride through the Valley of Death I shall fear no Evil – because I'm the Toughest Son of a Bitch in the Valley." The man had the normal Potter hair, though it was spiked. He also had rippling arm muscles and built shoulders. He had a holster on his arm for his wand and another for a long dagger. The final clue was his eyes: A brilliant killing-curse green.

The figure looked around and said, "Hogwart I see." He turned and looked at the Gryffindor table and saw Harry. He called out, "Mini-me! What year are you starting?"

Harry, hesitant, called back, "Third year."

The man, now recognized as a mature Harry Potter, nodded and turned back to the staff table. "Sorry for butting in on your feast. I'm a dimensional traveler. Due to a major cock-up on a spell, I move from world to world, helping to fix the problems of my various alternate selves or others who need my particular skill set. Is there any way I can get put up or should I find my own way?"

Dumbledore was not about the allow such a valuable source of information out of his clutches. As a result, he was almost enthusiastic when he said, "I am certain we can make arrangements here in the castle. We can meet right after the feast in my office."

Harry nodded. "That works. I'd like to take a bite to eat as well, if possible."

Dumbledore invited him to the staff table but he declined and sat at the Gryffindor table.

Without talking to anyone, he started heaping his plate with meats and other hearty foods and tore into it. The rest of the hall watched in fascination, starting to talk again as they discussed the recent arrival.

Suddenly, he heard a particular two voices in the background. He looked over and saw Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger having a disagreement. Sighing, he got up and went over to the two, who suddenly stopped. "Are you two arguing over the cat and rat?"

The two hesitantly nodded.

The older Harry pulled out a pouch and put ten golden coins on the table. "Give me the rat and you can have the Galleons." Ron, very suddenly, was no longer angry and quickly pulled the rat out of his pocket and put it on the table. He pulled the Galleons to himself and stuffed them in his pockets.

The older Harry shocked the Hall when he used wandless magic to stun the rat.

"Professor McGonagall?"

The aforementioned woman came down from the staff table and said, "Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"I guess you can call me Hadrian so as not to confuse us." Hadrian put the rat on the floor. "Can you perform an animagus reversal?"

Professor McGonagall was both intriqued and worried. She did as asked and suddenly the room was aghast when the rat on the floor turned into an ugly rat-shaped man. She gasped. "Peter Pettigrew!"

Hadrian nodded. He then reached down and tore the man's sleeve off to expose the Dark Mark.

"Meet Peter Pettigrew – the real Potter Secret Keeper and the reason Voldyshorts could get to the Potters. Sirius Black is innocent. You better call the DMLE. Amelia Bones is best."

Very quickly, Albus Dumbledore – trailed by his lackey – made his way over. "This should really be taken to a more private venue."

Hadrian said, "Excuse me," the Professor McGonagall and then turned to the Headmaster who was now a couple feet away. Hadrian reached out his hand to take the Headmasters. The Headmaster, wanting to be polite, took his hand.

Suddenly, Hadrian pulled the Headmaster forward and viciously kneed him in the groin – which caused the Headmaster to drop on the floor. In almost the same motion, Hadrian had pulled his wand and placed it between Snape's eyes. "Go ahead. Make. My. Fucking. Day."

Wisely, Severus Snape retreated.

Professor McGonagall, however, didn't. "MR. POTTER! Was that really necessary?"

Hadrian nodded. "Magical Oath. Every time I meet a Dumbledore who fucked up the life of a Harry Potter, I have to knee him in the balls. Otherwise I lose my magic. You probably should get to calling the DMLE now." He turned to the Potions Master. "And you should retrieve Veritaserum for the Aurors. And if it's poisoned or otherwise tampered with, I will gut you like a fish and use your intestines for decorating the Slytherin Common Room. You get me, Master Snape?"

Snape wisely withdrew to retrieve the potion.

The students were quickly dismissed, save Harry Potter and his two friends, who demanded to stay with him. Before Professor McGonagall could protest, Hadrian agreed and demanded that all the Weasleys stay as the rat had lived with them.

As Madam Pomfrey was treating the Headmaster, a group from the Ministry appeared. Hadrian muttered a soft, "Fucking moron and minion," as the Minister entered followed by Delores Umbridge. There were also two Aurors and a Dementor – but no Amelia Bones.

Hadrian turned to Professor Lupin and said, "Patronus if the Dementor gets close. No coverups." Remus nodded.

Hadrian then walked past the Minister and lackey and aurors, right up to the Dementor.

Suddenly, Hadrian Potter moved in a blur and started pulverizing the Dementor, who started screeching. If anyone had been looking, they would have seen the Dementors outside of Hogwarts visibly flinch in response to the sound.

Within a very short order, the Dementor was a pile of bones and robes. Hadrian turned and asked the Aurors. "We gonna have a problem?"

Both raised their hands and shook their heads.

Umbridge, however, was not so quiet. "What are you doing? Arrest that man for interfering with Ministry business!"

Hadrian looked at the woman and said, "Look, toad lady. There is no law against destroying a Dementor. And I'll be fucked before I let the truth be covered up. Now where the fuck is Madam Amelia Bones?"

The Minister, terrified of this man, stuttered out that he had decided to take charge of the capture of the Potter's traitor.

"This is DMLE business. The DMLE Director should be here." He turned to the Auror. "Call her or I'll get upset."

The Aurors quickly used a DMLE device to call in the Director and within a few minutes Amelia Bones entered the Great Hall.

"What the hell is going on? Why did I get an Emergency summons?"

Hadrian pointed to Peter Pettigrew who was trussed up on the floor. "One Potter Secret Keeper. He needs to be asked some questions under Veritaserum."

"Hmm. Hmm. No Pureblood can be required to submit to Veritaserum!" Umbridge tried to take control again.

"Two things. First he's a fucking half blood. Second: He's been declared dead. He has no fucking rights."

Amelia Bones nodded thoughtfully. "Actually, that's true. I will need to get some serum here."

Hadrian turned to the Potions Master. "He has some he retrieved. He's a licensed brewer."

Snape silently showed Madam Bones the bottle. She went and grabbed it from him. "You attest this is Veritaserum, brewed according to Ministry guidelines and statutes?"

Snape nodded. "I hereby attest as a licensed Potions Master that this Veritaserum is properly brewed and delivered to the DMLE according to the Law."

"Very good."

Very soon, it was determined that Sirius Black was completely innocent and that it would be announced in the Prophet the next day. Dumbledore, once Madam Pomfrey had treated him, tried to prevent this but one look from Hadrian quelled his objections.

Amelia and the Aurors also interviewed the Weasleys and declared them not responsible as they had been hoodwinked too.

Finally, the Ministry group left with a shackled Peter Pettigrew. As they were about to exit, Hadrian called out, "Madam Umbridge!"

The woman, with a sneer, turned and asked, "What?"

"You interfere with me or my alternate version again and I will send you to where you sent your Muggle mother, Ellen Cracknell, and your brother, William Cracknell." He then gave a subtle look to Amelia Bones who nodded slightly, though her face showed some surprise. She would investigate.

For her part, Dolores Umbridge was equally shocked and terrified. No one knew she had had her mother and brother killed to prevent people from learning that she was a halfblood.

Amelia Bones, however, would find out quite easily when she started looking.

The rest of the Ministry workers were shocked to learn that the unpleasant woman was a half-blood. Rumours would quickly be spread over the next few days.

Hadrian turned to the Weasleys, who were being shepherded out by Percy along with Harry and Hermione. "Ron!"

Ron turned, looking quite overwhelmed. "Buy yourself an owl with those Galleons and you better buy Hermione's cat some treats for noticing the traitor when none of you did."

Ron nodded and turned to follow his brother and the rest of the Gryffindors.

Hadrian turned and said, "Now. About that room."

* * *

Harry's alternate spent a good portion of time over the next few days teaching him how to handle different situations.

When Harry protested that he just wanted to be normal, Hadrian scoffed. "Normal is for pussies. Either Gryffindor up and stop being such a pussy or learn to bend over and take it in the ass for the rest of your life."

* * *

Draco Malfoy had finally recovered his aplomb and tried to insult Harry out of the hearing of the staff. Harry looked at his friends and then walked over to Draco and kneed him in the balls. "If you fuck with me, I'll fuck with you. And I'll fuck with your father too if he makes trouble. Leave me alone and I'll leave you alone."

When Pansy Parkinson tried to protest, Harry just said, "Suck my dick or shut your fucking mouth."

She had no comeback.

* * *

Within two short weeks, Sirius Black had been cleared and got custody of Harry, several pieces of Dark Magic had been retrieved and cleansed, and Harry Potter was learning to live his life the right way.

Hadrian, when he was about to leave, turned to Harry and asked, "What's our playground?"

"Whatever we say it is."

"And what are we?"

"The biggest Bad-Ass-Mother-Fuckers on the playground!" Harry replied with confidence.

Hadrian nodded. "And if they don't like it?"

"They can Suck. My. Dick!"

Hadrian nodded and said, "Good for you. This is me making sure that every Harry I meet becomes the biggest BAMF in their world. I hate being called the 'Lone BAMF'!"

The two laughed together and Hadrian disappeared in a pulsing blue light, the sound of a Phoenix trilling a particular song wafting around.

Muggleborns, and every Harry Potter who witnessed the Lone BAMF leaving, upon hearing the song always started singing along: "We will, we will, Rock you!"


	21. One more lesson from the Lone BAMF

For those who wondered: YES, THE LONE BAMF IS CRACK! Let's not take it too seriously - it's for fun.

Hadrian and Harry made their way down Diagon Alley to the Bank to review Harry's accounts, sell the basilisk and to deal with the item in the Lestrange vaults.

Hadrian led Harry inside and walked up to a free teller. "We need to see a Senior Manager about business."

The goblin suspiciously asked, "What business?"

Hadrian looked at the goblin and said, "If I had wanted you to know, I would have told you. It's business. A lot of Galleons. And we need someone who can actually make a fucking deal." He paused. "Oh, and talk about the Potter accounts."

The goblin looked at the two and then dropped down from the chair, saying, "Wait here."

Soon, the two were being led into the bowels of Gringotts. As the two were led inside, one of the guards sneered at Harry. Hadrian looked at Harry and the goblin and then at the important goblin in front of them. "Excuse me," Hadrian said to the executive, "I need a moment to teach my alternate self something. It will be quick and smoother relations with the Potters and Gringotts in the future."

The important goblin nodded. Hadrian said to Harry, "Watch this." He then walked up the goblin that sneered and said, "If you sneer at me or anyone with me again, I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck, while pulling your ears from your decapitated skull. And when I'm done I'll use those ears to clean my ass. You got me you little pissant?"

The goblin's face became blank and he nodded. Hadrian looked at Harry and saw that he got the lesson. Harry asked, "He sneered at me, right?"

Hadrian nodded.

Harry then walked over to the goblin and kneed him in the balls. "Don't fuck with me and I won't fuck with you." He then turned and walked back to Hadrian. Both turned to the important goblins.

The executive looked at the two wizards and said, "It's always good to see Elders providing clear and understandable instruction to the young. And even better when the young learn so well. Now what can Gringotts do for you?"


	22. Schoolyard Bet

Draco Malfoy was chortling. "Goyle bet me you wouldn't last ten minutes on the first task. I bet you wouldn't last five." He smirked and said, "I guess you'll get to see Mummy and Daddy real soon."

Harry, not the most calm at the best of times, was very nearly apoplectic. He stood and turned, noting that the Headmaster and Potions Master were both observing and – as could be expected – saying nothing.

Looking at Draco Malfoy's smug face, Harry finally decided on a course of action. "Well, Malfoy, I guess I'll make a one-time bet with anyone who wishes to take me up on it that you won't be killed this year. Let's say – 10,000 Galleons."

There were a number of confused looks around. Even Draco Malfoy was, for the moment, confused.

Two faces were not confused. The Headmaster looked angry and the Potions Master looked whiter than normal.

"Mr. Potter! Such actions are unbecoming a Hogwarts student. You will meet me in my office after dinner!" the Headmaster bellowed.

Taking a look of confusion Harry asked, "What do you mean? What have I done which is unbecoming?"

"Wagering your fellow students' lives!"

Still looking confused Harry said, "How is that? He just said he wagered that I would die and you said nothing. I was just making a wager that he won't die. Which wager is more unbecoming?"

"We will discuss this in my office!"

Harry shrugged and then saluted Draco with a finger and a smile. Draco looked like he was thinking heavily. He figured someone would eventually explain it to the moron.

Harry was tired of the staff sitting back and doing nothing. If someone took him up on it – well, his trust fund would cover it.

A/N: I'd like to see someone make this workable. IT was a passing thought for me …

If you're confused, think about it. I'll explain in another A/N later if anyone can't figure it out..


	23. Two Small Bunnies Free to Good Homes

Please excuse the vast incompleteness of these two bunnies. I don't even remember writing the first but it is in my style so I probably had some weird idea that never panned out.

The second was a "What if" that I never fleshed out beyond the basic concept.

Please take them home if you can give them love and raise them to viable stories.

BUNNY 1:

_Harry Potter sat within his study at 12 Grimmauld Place and began reading the journal of his ancestor. It was almost like he could see what was happening before his eyes …_

Alonius, Lord of Potter, listened to the singing of the traveling bard. The bard had done as bards did and spent a good portion of the day listening to the gossip around the keep. His retainers had done as retainers did and spent a good portion of the time speaking of his deeds in glowing terms.

It truly annoyed him.

The bard's song made him seem like he was Merlin returned to the world. While he had done many of the things that the bard sung of, the bard had put it into an (in his mind) unrealistic vision.

As a result, he laughed and clapped in good nature before warning the bard, "Verily I say your skill in song and the telling of tales is without peer. However," and here he gave a stern look about the hall, "mayhap mine retainers have perhaps made me seem more than I am." He paused. "It shall be, from this day forth, the rule that none of the Potter family nor its retainers shall allow a distorted truth to be bandied about regarding the prowess or deeds of the family Potter – or its members. We must not allow false glory to be put upon us, and such deeds that are accomplished must include the names of those that spent their sweat and blood and magic to aid us." His face took on a smirk as he continued. "The tale of the dragon, perhaps, should be clarified. Whilst I did endeavour to prevent the dragon from attacking the town, mayhap mine retainers have failed to include their own contributions. Let me say on regarding the Great Green Dragon of Wales so that you may accurately know and tell what part was played by more than just I, their Lord …"

The retainers in the hall blushed as the Lord of Potter did tell tales of their own prowess. As was his want, he downplayed his own part and heaped praise upon them. The wizards of his court loved their Lord – but did not feel comfortable chancing the view that they might have outshone him – a false conclusion in their own minds. Their Lord oft times avoided the praise that he was due …

A/N: I don't know why I wrote it .. but there it is.

BUNNY 2:

Serving the House of Potter

_As the two boys ate the haul that Harry had bought from the trolley, Ron Weasley nervously looked at the boy he shared cabin with on the Hogwarts Express._

_His father had taken him aside the day before and asked him to perform a function that he, Ron, would be in a unique position to perform. He remembered the conversation quite clearly. _

Flashback

"Why can't Mum know?" Ron asked.

Arthur sighed. "Aunt Muriel. That's why, son."

Ron was confused. "What does Aunt Muriel have to do with it?"

Arthur took on a grim look. "Muriel Prewitt is the Regent for House Prewitt. Your Mum and I, we married for love. Her dad was happy to allow it, even though House Weasley hasn't been in the best position since your Grandda' and Grams got married. The Blacks weren't happy. So they took back Mum's dowry. When I married your Mum, she brought a decent dowry with her, and we were happy." He smiled in reminiscence. "Your Mum loved me and her dad was only concerned with her happiness. Me too." Arthur grinned. "Your mum even used a mild love potion on me to increase my attention toward her. Didn't work, 'cause I already loved her more than the potion would cause."

Arthur's smile became sad. "When they died, though, Muriel became head of the family and she never liked me. She can't break our marriage, but if she finds cause – she'll disown your mum and take back the dowry. And because the dowry was all we had when we married, taking it back would mean we'd lose everything."

Arthur became grim. "Muriel is using her authority to force your mum to train Ginny to seduce Harry Potter. And I can't stop it because it would ruin us. So, the only choice we have is to do as I asked you to do."

He looked squarely at Ron and said, "So, Ronald Bilius Weasley, will you do as your Father has asked as regards Heir Potter?"

Ron, knowing how important it was, nodded. "I'll become his friend and start teaching him about our world. If I can, I will ask him to take House Weasley as retainers to help him take his place in society."

Arthur looked at his son proudly. "Tomorrow you ride the Hogwarts Express and our future rides with you. You give me great hope, son."


	24. Harry's Guardianship: Tonks vs Malfoy

"Oyez! Oyez! Oyez! The House of Lords and Ladies Wizengamot is hereby called to session! Let all who have business before this body stand forth and be heard! Wizengamot Clerk: What is the first item on the agenda?"

Percy Weasley stood smarmily and said, "The completion of testimony on the matter of the guardianship of Harry James Potter, minor and Scion and Heir Apparent of the House of Potter, Scion and Heir Presumptive of the House of Black."

After the death of Sirius Black in prison and the reading of his will, it had been found that he had been illegally incarcerated. The fact that he had been the legal guardian of Harry Potter was found out and there had been scrambling by different political factions to gain control of the boy who lived.

Albus Dumbledore's attempts for this to be quashed failed in the sheer weight of the political pressure brought to bear.

Every claim but two had been finally dismissed: Ted and Andromeda Tonks and Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. By law, these two were the most closely related magicals to Harry Potter and their claims took precedence over all others in the absence of a recognized will.

Lucius Malfoy had the "newly found" will presented by Dumbledore quashed using political maneuvering.

Harry was sitting at a table in the room and the two contesting parties were present.

The Minister of Magic had demanded the right to preside as Dumbledore was "an interested party".

Cornelius Fudge looked down at his notes and said, "We have heard testimony from both parties in this matter. Now, according to the law regarding such matters, the minor in question has a right to be heard, even though he is still a child and deemed too immature to decide." Harry's stated preference for the Tonks had been reported and Cornelius Fudge had been paid by Lucius Malfoy. "So, Mr. Potter is called forward to make his statement."

Harry Potter came forward and addressed the Wizengamot. All could see the boy's dislike for the Malfoys in the way he avoided them to come forward.

"Lords and Ladies Wizengamot, I thank you for the opportunity to speak to the matter at hand. Many arguments have been made on both sides as to the correct placement for myself – who has the greater right to hold my guardianship. Both claims are those of blood: These two women are my closest blood relatives in the magical world. Mrs. Tonks is the eldest and, according to most legal precedent, would have first claim. However, according to the testimony from the Malfoys, she was disowned from the House of Black. The Malfoys' contention is that they are the more reputable family and therefore have the greater claim."

Harry paused. "I would disagree with this." There was a hubbub which quickly petered out.

"First of all, the matter of Mrs. Tonks being disowned is not a substantive legal situation which affects her status outside of the right to claim the name Black and enjoy its aegis and succor." Hermione had helped right his speech and drilled him to say it all.

"It is true that, due to the fact that I am the legal heir of the last legal claimant to the House of Black, I have been named Heir Presumptive of that House. What has been ignored by all is my primary claim: I am Heir Apparent to the House of Potter, an Ancient and Noble line which can find its roots in Magical Briton since the time of the Romans. By all accounts, my family is more Ancient than almost all others within this room. Only the Bones enjoy a longer residence and only the Longbottoms and the Greengrasses have direct lineages almost as old as my own. And so, which family is of greater consideration to the traditions of this house? The Blacks, a family of Briton since AD 949, or the Potters, a family of Briton since 47 BC?

"By all traditions, the Potter family's standing is the greater claim. Now what does that claim entail? The Malfoys claim Mrs. Tonks disownment as a blemish on her name and family. Why was she disowned? She was disowned because she married a First Generation wizard, who had no recognized magical family before. IF this is a valid reason to claim a blemish on her family, than my own family has the same blemish. My father, Lord of the House of Potter, married Lily Evans, a recognized Muggleborn of a family with no recognized magical descent. By the very claim that the Malfoys make, my own birth is ANATHEMA.

"How then could such a family be guaranteed to offer me aegis and succor? How can a family which names me half-breed, by their own statements, ensure my proper health and care? I tell you – it is impossible. IF the Malfoy claim is considered more valid than you are ordering me to _repudiate_ the beliefs and history and the very traditions of the Potter family. How is that in my, or your, best interests?

Harry had the Wizengamot riveted – Lucius and Cornelius were not happy.

"If one were to give weight to the traditions of my family – the Potter family – then the answer to the greater claim is clear: Andromeda Tonks has lived her life closer to the values that the Potters hold dear – much closer than the Malfoys. She married for love, regardless of the fact that her husband was muggleborn. She is the eldest of my blood – regardless of the claims of others."

Harry paused again "It has been noted that the Scion of Malfoy, Heir Apparent Draco Malfoy, and I do not get along. What should happen if the needs of my family find themselves in conflict with the needs of theirs? Is if fair to Draco that a new addition is deferred to? Is it fair to me to deny my needs for Draco's senior claim to the family? I say: No.

"The Tonks have one child who is already grown. She is an Auror who works for this Ministry. There is no competing needs against my own. The Tonks can concentrate on raising me and ensuring my health and welfare."

Harry took a deep breath. "Therefore, I ask that the claim of Andromeda and Ted Tonks be upheld and the claim of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy be rejected in whole. Thank you."


	25. Why do they change?

Bunny: Hermione has an idea or two regarding the reason for werevolves changing during the full moon and combating it.

Hermione Granger was very nervous as she slowly approached the office for the Professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts.

The essay that Snape had ordered had filled in the final piece and she had realized that the Professor was a werewolf. Considering that it would be obvious, she thought that the HEadmaster was most likely aware and so it was better not to say anything.

This didn't stop her from researching everything she could.

One thing that she had seen in a Muggle book actually was the reason why she was where she was.

She knocked on the door. "Come in!" the Professor's voice came through.

As she walked in the man smiled. "Ah, Hermione Granger. How can I help you, Ms. Granger?"

Feeling very nervous, Hermione asked shyly, "Professor? Are you a werewolf?"

The man sighed. "Why do you ask?"

Hermione listed her observations and the man was amazed by her intelligence. Finally Remus Lupin nodded. "I see that the idea of a job was too good. I probably should start packing my bags before I'm run out."

Hermione immediately protested. "No, no! I haven't told ANYONE! You're a great professor! And I'm sure the Headmaster knows about you, right?"

Remus nodded. "He does."

"Well, just because you have this condition, there's no reason for you to not teach. I'm learning ever so much more this year than I did in the first two years! Ask Harry. Ask anyone - I'm sure they would agree!"

Remus looked at the girl bemused. He was a bit surprised at her casual acceptance. "Well, you've confirmed it. What now?"

Gathering her courage, Hermione asked, "Do you know why the moon shows as full? Why it only happens one or two nights a month?"

Remus considered that. "I know it has to do with the sun."

Hermione nodded enthusaiastically. "The moon turns around the Earth every twenty nine days. When the Earth is between the Moon and Sun, the reflected light shows the moon is full. When the moon is on the same side of the Earth as the sun, there is no reflection and therefore we see no moon."

Remus nodded. "Yes. What of it?"

Hermione sat down and enthusiastically explained. "Well, it's obvious that the change happens due to one of two reasons: During the full moon there are two things that are true: The Sun is the furthest from the moon, and the visible parts of the moon reflect fully the sun's light."

Remus said, "Yes. And what does conclusion did you have because of that?"

"Well, considering that moonlight is just reflected sunlight, I was wondering if this might prevent the change." Hermione dug around in her bag and put a bottle on the desk.

Remus picked it up and read it. "SPF 50?"

Hermione nodded. "It blocks the suns light from damaging the skin. The highest blocking level available is SPF 50. I was wondering if a werewolf put this over his body entirely, blocking the light of the full moon from hitting him, and the werewolf wore the strongest sunglasses available," she pulled a case from her bag that her Mother had sent upon her request, "if this might not prevent the change."

Remus looked at the girl with surprise. "I have no idea."

Hermioen shrugged. "It wouldn't hurt to try, would it? Worst case, it doesn't work. Best case, it stops the change from happening. That was my first idea."

Remus asked curiously, "First idea? Were there others?"

Hermione nodded. "If that doesn't work, maybe it's something that the moon does to the sunlight which causes the change working in conjunction with whatever bacteria or virus which a werewolf was exposed to when he was first bit by a werewolf that was already changed. Fighting it would then be one of two factors: Either disrupting the virus or bacteria or disrupting the change in the sunlight by the moon. Does a werewolf ever change when the full moon is in the sky with the sun?"

Remus thought about it. "No. The change occurs after the sun sets if the moon is already up."

"Than maybe a Sunlight spell or a runic array which casts sunlight that has been collected during the month could disrupt the change to the sunlight that the moon creates and might prevent the change or possible cause the werewolf to revert if the change has already occurred. Or maybe staying under a low intensity Muggle tanning bed which simulated sunlight might prevent the change but that might be dangerous to test because those are designed to provide EXTREME amounts of manufactured sunlight. And if it doesn't work, the werewolf will be in the immediate vicinity of glass which he might hurt himself on when he breaks it. I'd try that as a last resort."

Remus looked at Hermione with amazement. No one, to his knowledge, had ever considered what she was saying.

"And of course it might be a problem with Vitamin D."

Weakly, Remus said, "Vitamin ... D?"

Hermione nodded. "The parts of food which our bodies need, besides the calories for energy, are the vitamins and minerals they provide - Muggles have been researching this for years. One vitamin, or perhaps two, are not provided by food, however, and are provided by sunlight. The one I know about is Vitamin D. As a matter of fact, Muggles put extra Vitamin D in milk because as lifestyles have changed, people get less and less sun. I wonder if there are werewolves on the equator where the sun is strongest or if the change is the same or different? Anyway - maybe the change has to do with altering the vitamin D created and a huge dose of Vitamin D might prevent the change as it would overshadow the mutated vitamin D from the full moon." Hermione paused. "I think those are all the ideas I've had so far." She giggled. "I always thought that Professor Snape might be suffering from a Vitamin D deficiency because he's always indoors. I'm sure people have been telling him to get sun for years, but maybe he should just get Vitamin D pills from a Muggle pharmacy."

Remus smiled. "Yes. Quite amusing. Anyway, I thank you for bring these ideas to my attention. I will alert those who might help to test to see if any of the informatioin might help me and other werewolves."

Hermione jumped up and said cheerfully, "Thanks Professor! Just let me know what you find!" She then flounced out of the room.

Remus looked at the door where the utter genius of a girl had just exited. "Absolutely marvelous. I think I need to speak to Albus and Severus about these things."


	26. Harry's Had Enough

A/N: I don't normally use the "Tortured by the Dursleys" angle in my stories, but it plus the Harry gets punished for skipping the feast trope fit together too well.

* * *

Harry Potter was sitting at breakfast on Saturday morning completely in a rage. The entire year – outside of having exactly two friends he did not have before – was showing him that his decision was a sound one. He completely loathed the Magical world and his research as to how to be kicked out of it would need to be stepped up.

It was strange for an eleven-year old Wizard to be thinking such things, but that was where Harry Potter was at this moment. He was definitely not looking forward to the "meeting" he was supposed to have after breakfast in the Headmaster's office.

The unpleasant looks from the Headtable from the Professor McGonagall, the disappointed look from the Headmaster, the confused look from Hagrid, and the glee from Professor Snape were all a bit much for him to take.

Suddenly, at 8:45, fifteen minutes before his "meeting" was scheduled, the doors to the Great Hall opened suddenly and several people came in. One was a portly, older man with an ugly green bowler hat. Another was a woman who looked to be in her fifties with red robes leading two others with the same roads, and the last was a hideous woman in lime green robes with horrible glasses; it truly looked like she thought she was attractive but Harry thought otherwise.

The Headmaster stood to greet the arrivals. Before he could say anything the man in the bowler held out a newspaper and said, "Dumbledore! Is this true?" while waving the paper.

The Headmaster tried to calm the man down. "I don't know what you are referring to, Minister Fudge." Harry's eyes widened – maybe this man could help him get kicked out.

"What today's Prophet said about Harry Potter!" Everyone looked to the sullen boy – he was as confused as any.

The ugly woman said, "Minister – the paper hasn't been sent out. You received an advanced copy."

The Minister stopped and said, "Oh." Looking around at the students the man called, "Harry Potter? Come here, please."

Harry was honestly surprised that the man had said 'please' – no one else ever did. Harry stood up and walked forward. The man shoved the paper in his hand to Harry and said, "Is this true?"

Harry curiously took the paper and read the headline. "HARRY POTTER TRYING TO GET EXPELLED FROM HOGWARTS IN EFFORT TO LEAVE THE WIZARDING WORLD!"

Harry handed the paper back. "Yes."

The visitors looked at him in shock. The staff was confused. Dumbledore asked, "May I see the paper?"

One of those in the red robes took it and gave it to the Headmaster, who looked at it and then blanched slightly. "Perhaps we can take this to my office – we had a meeting scheduled with the boy."

Harry crossed his arms and shook his head. "No. We can talk about it right here as it has everything to do with the people in the room."

Severus Snape, who hadn't seen the paper, said with a snide voice, "And our Celebrity gets special treatment once more. I am looking forward to seeing your punishment."

Harry looked at the staff, who ignored the man, and the visitors who stood agape, and said, "There is one of the major reasons why it's true: I am tired of constant abuse from the staff here." He saw the paper make its way to the man and said, "Professor. Why don't you read the headline out loud so that the students know what is being spoken of?"

Sneering, Snape took the paper and without reading it quietly first, he read out the headline – his face took on a blank look by the end of the line for some reason. Harry was truly expecting more glee.

Suddenly they were interrupted by Professor Quirrell coming in, having been unaware of the gathering. After stopping a brief moment, he nervously walked toward his seat form the main doors.

The Weasley twins, bored, sent a tripping hex at the man as he rushed through the room. Suddenly the man fell headlong and ended up next to Harry Potter. Annoyed by the interruption, Harry went to help the man in order to get this over with.

However, as soon as he grabbed the man's wrist in a firm grasp the help pull him up, a scream came out of the man and Harry jumped back. Kneeling on the ground, Quirrell screamed and snatched the turban off his head – the major pain came from underneath it.

Suddenly, Quirrell dropped and a wraith exited the body. The staff recognized it immediately. "Damn you, Harry Potter! Because of you, I am in this hideous form and once again you defy me! I, Lord Voldemort, will have my revenge!"

After a few screams, the wraith fled the hall. The noise dropped to almost nothing but the fear was palpable. Harry Potter broke it up with his observation, "Damn. If I'd have known he was here, I could have just gotten him to finish the job of killing me and sending me on to my parents."

The entire hall looked at Harry in horror.

Dumbledore once again tried to get this moved elsewhere but the older woman in the red robes motioned him quiet. "Mr. Potter. I am, Amelia Bones, Director of Magical Law Enforcement. These are some of my Aurors. This is the Minister for Magic. May I ask exactly why you would express such a thing – a desire to die and leave the Wizarding world?"

Harry looked at her and saw an honest curiosity and so he decided to answer. "Because once again this world shows me that it utterly hates me. I was supposed to go see the Headmaster after breakfast about the last one – and it's been happening all year."

"What happened last night?"

"I refused to attend a detention – it was part of my work to get expelled."

Amelia turned and asked, "What was the detention?" The staff looked to Hagrid.

"Er. We was going inter the Forest to fin' whats bin killin the unicorns." The Great Hall was agog.

"When was this supposed to happen?"

Harry answered. "11:00. If someone had told me that the detention was in the middle of the night trying to find something strong enough to kill unicorns, I wouldn't have refused. That surely was dangerous enough to get me killed." He huffed. "Unfortunately, it was probably this man who was doing it," he motioned to Quirrell, "as it sounds like something that Voldemort would be doing. Which means that the danger is gone – I'll have to find another way."

Amelia asked, horror still in her voice, "Who else was going to be there?"

"Hagrid, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, and Draco Malfoy. We're all first years."

"What did you do to earn a detention in the Forbidden Forest in the middle of the night?"

"We got caught out after curfew. Professor McGonagall penalized Malfoy 20 points and the rest of us fifty points each plus the detention. I think the Professor might be a closet Slytherin – she seems to despise us Gryffindors more than the other houses even though she's Head of House."

Amelia was curious. "How many times were you caught out after curfew before?"

"It was the first time," Harry shrugged.

"Wait. You're telling me that the first time you were punished for this, you lost 150 points between you and were given a detention, as a first year, to help find something in the Forbidden Forest that is strong enough to kill unicorns."

Harry listened and nodded. "Yeah. That's about right. Well, not the first offense for me – I was punished at Halloween which is what started this whole thing. But it was the first offense for the rest."

She and the Minister turned to the staff. "And you consider this level of punishment appropriate four an _eleven_ year olds?"

The staff could really say nothing – laid out like that, it was quite damning. "I don't know why you're so surprised I got such a punishment – they've already demonstrated that they completely hate me. I mean, me losing so many points has caused the entirety of Gryffindor house to treat my like dirt on their shoes and the staff has sat back and done nothing."

"Like what?" she asked.

Harry listed out the things that the Gryffindors had done to him since Halloween – after his first large point loss.

"Of course, I'm surprised that the others got punished so harshly. I thought Hermione was McGonagall's favorite and I know that Malfoy is Snape's favorite. Professor Sprout's favorite seems to be Neville, who gets treated okay by everyone except Snape – who of course absolutely despises him just like the rest of the non-Slytherins."

"Despises them?"

Harry shrugged. "I guess that's why he refuses to explain anything to us and then punishes us for anything, including asking questions, not asking question, breathing too loud, getting our potions sabotaged by his Slytherins – things like that."

Amelia looked at Snape and said, "We'll get back to that later – I've been trying to find why there are no qualified Auror candidates and if he's the Potion Master – that may be why." Snape turned a bit white. "But why were you out?"

Harry sighed. "I don't want to get the only staff member who likes me in trouble."

Amelia sighed. "I hereby promise to not penalize the staff member for whatever their part was."

"No matter what?"

"No matter what."

Harry considered that. "Fine. Hagrid won a Dragon Egg in a poker game and decided to hatch it. Draco Malfoy saw it hatch through a window. Hermione and I helped get the Dragon sent to a dragon reserve and the only time they could pick it up was at midnight on a Saturday night."

Amelia sighed. "And you didn't get any other staff to help because …"

"They all despise me. Or so I assumed."

"Why do you assume that?" she asked curiously.

"Well, it was the only explanation."

"Explanation for what?"

"I didn't feel particularly well and so I wanted to miss the Halloween feast – didn't feel like celebrating. But the Headmaster and Professor McGonagall Percy Weasley to force me to come to the feast. We actually found another student who wasn't there on the way – Hermione had been crying because Ron Weasley had been a prat to her. But seeing me being punished for not attending, she cleaned herself up from crying and came with us. Good thing too – the troll was found in the bathroom she was in. When we found that out, Hermione was thankful and settled down and we became friends. But anyway, when Percy led me into the hall, the Headmaster refused to listen to why I hadn't been there and gave me a fifty-point penalty for not attending. I didn't say anything about Hermione because I thought she had suffered enough. The rest of the staff seemed to agree except Hagrid who didn't look happy about the points. That's why he's the only staff member I like."

"And then what happened?"

"Well, Gryffindor decided to punish me for getting so many points taken away at once. I've been hexed, insulted, ignored – a whole heap of things. The staff just ignored it."

Amelia sighed. The Minister was listening in fascination. The staff looked mildly disagreeable but only mildly. The reporter (or she seemed to be) was writing everything down.

Amelia thought about what she had heard and had a suspicion. "Mr. Potter? Why didn't you want to attend the Halloween feast?"

"Because I honestly didn't think I could celebrate the tenth anniversary of my parents' murder. That's why I know the staff hates me. To them, my refusal to celebrate my parents dying was worth getting tortured all year as well as a fifty point loss. I haven't seen anyone else forced to celebrate a family members death so I figured I must be a specially disliked person to them. I thought I had gotten away from the people I answer to hating me when I left my relatives' house for Hogwarts. I guess I'm destined to be despised by everybody."

Amelia Bones was almost afraid to ask. "What do you mean? Your relatives hate you?"

Harry nodded. "Utterly despise me. Tried to 'beat the freak out' of me. I guessed the staff knew, or at least whoever sends out the letters, because my first letter was addressed to 'The Cupboard Under the Stairs'."

"Why was it addressed that way?" she asked.

Harry shrugged. "Because that was my bedroom until I was moved to Dudley's second bedroom after the letters started coming."

"Dudley's 'second' bedroom?"

"My cousin had a bedroom to sleep in and a bedroom for broken toys that they spoiled him with. That was beside the room for my Aunt and Uncle and a guest bedroom for when my Uncle's sister visited every year. That left me under the stairs."

"And what does it mean 'beat the freak out' of you?"

Instead of answering, Harry threw off his robe and lifted his shirt and bared his back. "Whenever I had accidental magic. Or did better in school than my idiot cousin."

The scars were deep and many. Those who saw the marks were horrified. Several girls in the room were crying. Even the staff was shocked – including, surprisingly, Severus Snape.

Amelia Bones and Cornelius Fudge turned toward the staff. Apparently, none of them had ever considered talking to the boy – they just started punishing. "Is anything that Mr. Potter just said inaccurate?" she asked the staff.

Dumbledore stood and said, "It seems there have been a great number of misunderstandings. We never intended to imply that we hated the boy – we …"

Amelia interrupted him. "I will be taking Harry Potter to St. Mungoes to be given a thorough checkup as well as to talk to several healers. I will then be returning to investigate this school thoroughly – just the presence of You-Know-Who in the form of a wraith would demand that. But that added to everything else? I will be returning very soon."

Dumbledore tried to protest. "But it wouldn't be safe outside of Hogwarts! Harry Potter must not …"

This time Cornelius Fudge interrupted. "Have you gone absolutely senile? Did you NOT hear what we just heard? Did you not have You-Know-Who possessing your Defense Teacher? And you call this safe? Only by chance were several eleven-year old children not forced into the Forbidden Forest overnight!"

"Don't forget the painful death if one tries to go to the third floor – but that's Fluffy, the Cerebus which the Headmaster borrowed from Hagrid to watch Flammel's Philosophers Stone he's hiding there." Harry decided to tweak as many noses as possible because … well, he really didn't care.

Fudge and Bones looked horrified. Amelia Bones angrily replied, "Expect every Auror available in twenty minutes!"

Harry was led out of a shocked hall by the Minister and the Head of the DMLE. The remaining Aurors started interviewing students and staff.

* * *

CHALLENGE: HARRY POTTER: HALLOWEEN PUNISHMENT: Harry Potter is punished for missing the Halloween Feast and it all changes there. What happens to Harry and his attitude when no one even considers it from his own point of view?


End file.
